A character in Stargate Atlantis
Played by David Hewlett
Stargate Atlantis · 512 quotes
Most-quoted character in Stargate Atlantis: in 282 of its 512 quotes
Most scenes with: John Sheppard (123), Elizabeth Weir (42), Carson Beckett (31)
Dr. McKayWe don't need to go far. [Twirling his finger in the air] Any old orbit will do!
And then what?
Dr. McKay[as sarcastically as humanly possible] Well, then, Norena and I were planning a small dinner for us all, nothing fancy ...
Rodney.
Dr. McKayWell, what does he mean, "Then what"?! Then we won't die horribly!
I think I may be missing something. Correct me if I'm wrong, but when the volcano erupts, don't we as well?
Dr. McKayThat's the plan!
That's the plan?
Dr. McKayThat's the plan!
That plan sucks!
Rodney, if the hive opens up on us, I want Orion's drones.
Which means we're gonna need the hyperdrive to get in position.
Dr. McKayWhich means we'll need shields, which means you want everything!
I like everything! Can we do it or not?
Dr. McKayWell, don't get up! Shields! Yes. Jump into position? Mmmmaybe. Release the drones. [crew member shakes her head] Probably not.
Dr. McKayThey didn't need you on the Daedalus?
Col. Caldwell believed my time was better spent disabling their jamming code.
Dr. McKayHuh! So, they can fly that ship without you.
Yes. But apparently you cannot run these tests without me.
Dr. McKayReally? Well... (makes an adjustment) Try it now.
(simulation is successful)
Dr. McKayWell, well. Turns out the human knows what he's doing after all!
Indeed. Your assistance on this project will be noted.
Dr. McKayMy assistance?!?
Dr. McKayOkay, I can probably figure something out. But no more holding back! I want everything there is to know about hive ships! Schematics, power distribution, life support configuration levels, everything!
Then you shall have it.
Dr. McKay(surprised) Really?
(the data is sent over)
Dr. McKayHuh, she really did it! This is the mother lode!
What is exactly?
Dr. McKayOnly everything you ever wanted to know about Wraith technology but were afraid to ask!
Dr. McKayThey couldn't have. Even if they deduced the location of Earth, they won't be able to get there, unless, they downloaded something else on the Hive-ship plans. Oh it's something like spyware, just like my stupidly downloaded porn...
What?
Dr. McKayMusic! My downloaded music.
Dr. McKayWhere did you come from?
I managed to latch onto the hull of the hive before we went into hyperspace.
Nice move.
Saw it in a movie once.
(Rodney is hacking the hive ship)
Dr. McKayTheir operating system is a mess! Good thing I still remember DOS. [after a beat, he turns and looks back at Ronon] Trust me, that was hilarious!
Are you done yet?
Dr. McKayThis ship is being seriously damaged, it's hard for me to find something to overload!
[appearing from around a corner with Michael] Let Mikey try!
How're you doing with the weapons?
Dr. McKayWe couldn't hit the side of a barn.
But hive ships are a hundred times bigger—
Dr. McKay[interrupting Sheppard] A giant...flying...barn. We couldn't hit that.
[McKay and Lt.Col Sheppard are in McKay’s lab trying to determine why everyone in Atlantis is besotted with Lucius Lavin. Sheppard looks like he has been pacing angrily while McKay has been working on a laptop at a lab-bench]
[While he's talking Sheppard moves to sit beside McKay] This is creeping me out.
Dr. McKay[McKay has been hunched over his laptop typing busily] Yeah… reminds me of an old Batman episode actually. Catwoman used a drug to put a spell on Batman...make him fall in love with her. Ended up doing all sorts of evil things for her. [Rodney sits upright] It was kind of a turn on actually…it’s Julie Newmar in the cat outfit…
[Sheppard is reading McKay's laptop screen, he absently interrupts McKay ] Eartha Kitt was Catwoman.
Dr. McKayNot 'till season three.
[surprised] Really?
Dr. McKayYeah, you didn't know that?
Hey, buddy, I'd better get back and clean your quarters before the next scout.
[Pats McKay on the shoulder and walks away]
Dr. McKay[Nervously] Right.
[He turns to leave, but Teyla and Ronon stop him, realising he took some of Lucius' herb]
Rodney!
Dr. McKayIt was just one teeny, tiny taste for research purposes.
Burn it!
All of it!
Right now!
Dr. McKayAlright. Story of my life.
[Dr. McKay briefly looks suggestively at Teyla, who is not impressed.]
[McKay has been shot with an arrow and is now full of morphine for the pain]
Dr. McKayExcuse me, why am I lying here?
You have an arrow, Rodney, in your gluteus maximus.
Dr. McKayWell, that sounds painful. [lies down on the operating table with a content expression and starts to play with the words] Gluteus maximus... glooo-tus maaa... ximus... [mildly surprised] Oh my god, that's my ass, isn't it?!
Aye.
Call me if he makes any sense.
[ Ronon, Teyla, and Sheppard have gone to fight the Wraith instead of leaving]
Dr. McKayThey outnumber you 25 to 3.
[ beeping from the Jumper's life signs detector] It's actually 22 to 3 ... 21...
And Ronon appears to be quite angry.
Dr. McKay[sarcasticly] Oh, that evens it out!
[Beckett grabs a gun]
Dr. McKayWhat are you doing?
I'm going to help them.
Dr. McKayWhat are you crazy?! You're a doctor!
What does that have to do with it?
[McKay tries taking the gun]
What are you doing?
Dr. McKayI'm going.
You can barely walk!
Dr. McKayI can walk fine, I just can't sit!
And you're a terrible shot!
Dr. McKayOh, what, you're Rambo now?!
John SheppardJoe Flanigan · 235 quotes
Elizabeth WeirTorri Higginson · 76 quotes
Carson BeckettPaul McGillion · 60 quotes
Ronon DexJason Momoa · 53 quotes
Radek ZelenkaDavid Nykl · 46 quotes
Teyla EmmaganRachel Luttrell · 37 quotes
LFLt. Ford25 quotes
Jennifer KellerJewel Staite · 18 quotes
Gen. O'NeillRichard Dean Anderson · 17 quotes
Richard WoolseyRobert Picardo · 16 quotes
MLMaj. Lorne12 quotes
WWraith12 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Stargate Atlantis pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
