Stanley quotes

I also learned that you don't have to be tall to solve big problems. You just have to think big.

Personally, I'm glad I'm not tall.

Why's that?

Why, being small has its advantages, too. For instance, if I were any taller, my tail would stick out of bed.

[Both laugh.]

Goodnight, Dennis.

Goodnight, apple-picking giraffe.

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S1Kangaroo Clean-Up

[Stanley is playing with his animal toys in his mom and dad's bedroom. He runs with a rhinoceros hand puppet.]

CHARGE! Look out! Rhino coming through!

[sees a rolling lion toy on the floor] Huh? Stanley! WATCH OUT!

[slips on the toy] Whoa, WHOA! Uh!

[As Stanley falls on the floor, he sends a box of small plastic red monkeys up to the ceiling, just as his dad walks in. He screams as he is covered with the monkeys.]

Mom! Dad!

Stanley Griff, look at what a mess you made in this room.

Sorry.

Aah! That's my good tie!

No, daddy. That's my python. See? [hisses]

That's very nice, Stanley, but--[gasps] My hat!

That's the penguin's igloo!

Stanley, you know how much we love you, and we love how much you love animals.

But that doesn't mean we like it when you turn our room into a total zoo.

Stanley, I want you to clean up this mess right now, or...

Or...

[makes a confused goofy face] Or...

BBoth

No dessert tonight.

[Stanley's older brother, Lionel walks in.]

Ooh! Guess who's gonna miss out on banana whammy!

But that's my favorite!

[Lionel laughs mockingly at Stanley.]

Lionel, that's enough.

Now, Stanley, you know what you have to do, right?

Finish playing "jungle safari"?

[Lionel laughs again.]

Okay, you have 'til dinnertime to herd these animals back to your room.

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Boy, do you have a problem.

You can say that again.

Elsie

[walks in] Boy, do you have a problem. [shuts the door behind her]

Yeah, I know.

[Elsie yowls as Harry pushes the door open, and runs in.]

Harry

Hey, Stanley! Did ya hear? You have a problem!

[irritated yelling] ALRIGHT, ALREADY!!!

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[At bedtime.]

Thanks for solving my problem, Dennis.

[Stanley feeds Dennis fish flakes.]

Mmm. Oh, you're more than welcome, Stanley. But you know, you solved your problem yourself.

I guess I did. I love kangaroos, don't you?

Yes, I do. Especially when they're in Australia.

They can jump so high...

And they keep their joeys safe in their pouches.

That's right. But you know who's my favorite animal friend in the whole wide world?

Um... The rhinoceros?

No.

Uh... Aardvark?

Nope.

Uh... Thomson's gazelle?

Uh-uh. Nope. My favorite animal friend is better than any of those, because he's always there when I need him. My favorite animal friend... is you.

[blushes] Oh...

Goodnight, Dennis.

Goodnight, kanga-room-a cleaner.

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S1Show-and-Tell Shark

Tyrannosaurus rex is the mightiest dinosaur ever. I'll take him to school on a leash.

And then when you get there, he'll flatten the place, and eat your teacher, and everybody else in sight.

Oh. Well, maybe you're right.

And besides, Tyrannosaurus rex has been extinct for 65 million years.

Extinct?

Not on the planet. Outta here.

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Look, Stanley! The sharks have come out of the book!

Great!

Oh, yes. Great white sharks! LOOK OUT!

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Wow. It sure eats a lot.

Oh, you have no idea. It's gonna need a whole lot more food real quick.

What do sharks like to eat?

Oh, seals, octopus, dolphin, eels, tuna, turtles, AND FISH!

But I don't have any of that shark food!

Then maybe you shouldn't have a shark for show-and-tell!

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[watching the sharks] Why are they smiling?

Well, uh... to you, I'm a pet, Stanley. To them, I'm a s-s-s... SNACK!

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S1Whoo's Afraid of the Dark?

Whoever you are, could you please stop saying "scratch-scratch, thump-thump, splish-splash"? Mommy said there's a simple explanation for scary sounds.

[Stanley imagines a big orange Lionel-looking monster scratching his side, thumping his tail, and making splashing noises with his feet.]

MOMMY!

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S1A Whale of a Song

[A humpback whale jumps out of the Great Big Book of Everything and onto the roof of Stanley's house, causing the house to shake.]

What is that?!

Oh. That sounds like a big truck.

[panics] Aah! The sky is falling!

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[After Stanley got the whale back in the book...]

I think... I saw... a whale on our house.

A whale? No way, Lionel.

I must be seeing things. Weird.

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S1Sloth for a Day

[Dennis was reading a book, when Stanley suddenly picks up his bowl.]

Whoa! Where are we going?!

[Stanley slides down the stairs and runs through the house with Dennis.]

Wahoo!

Uh, I thought you were gonna think about your project.

I think best of my pogo stick. I think it's in the garage.

[As Stanley keeps running, Dennis reacts in fright.]

Watch out for those--!

[Stanley trips over a stack of newspapers, sending Dennis flying in the air.]

Aaaah!

Aaaaaaah!

[gasps]

[Stanley catches Dennis' fishbowl, which catches the water, and Dennis.]

Newspapers.

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This guy is cool. He doesn't look like he has any chores at all. What does he do all day?

Well mostly, he eats leaves and hangs upside down.

I'm gonna give it a try.

[concerned] I don't know, Stanley. Hanging from a tree all day and all night might be okay for a sloth, but...

You think it's a great idea, right?

Well... Just don't eat the leaves.

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[Stanley is hanging from the sloth's branch, covered in algae, and straining. Dennis' bowl is on top of the branch, also covered with algae.]

Can we please stop this silly game, Stanley? Aren't your arms getting tired?

[strains] Just a few more...

[Suddenly, Stanley, Dennis, and the sloth hear some growling above them. A jaguar is prowling across the canopy. He doesn't notice Stanley, Dennis, or the sloth, so he leaves. Stanley turns gets on top of the branch.]

Wow. That jaguar was huge. He didn't see us.

I think he was searching for a meal. Thanks for camouflaging my bowl.

[Suddenly, they hear the sound of a chainsaw.]

What's that sound?

Doesn't sound like any animal I've ever heard.

[A tree topples over.]