Only one, huh? After your haphazard, clumsy, inexcusable performance in the OR today, I'm convinced that you may be here in body, but your mush brains are still on vacation.
Fine, well Dr. Swayles...
Exactly! He's got admitting privileges here, and I've been assigned one of his patients. You know, I've tried to reach him without any luck. Mrs. Sado's conditioning is deteriorating, and I've got to change her meds fast.
I can't change his orders. He's an attending and I'm only a resident.
You're also a moron. When a human life is in the balance, protocol goes out the window. Do I make myself understood?
And Ehrlich, I appreciate the fact that you don't wear shorts.
[Ehrlich is giving a lecture about having sex after recovery from bypass surgery]
There are five phases to sexual activity: arousal, plateau, orgasm, resolution, and putting on your socks.
NPNurse Papandrao
There was an emergency in the OR. There was nobody available, so I...
Isn't that scabbing? Or is the union finally admitting they're jeopardizing patients' lives?
NPNurse Papandrao
Don't blame it on the union. That man's life was in danger because no doctor had the foresight to transfer him last week.
Oh, come on, Lucy. That's bull. Emergencies happen all the time.
NPNurse Papandrao
Look, I'm on strike, okay? But if somebody's dying, I'm not on strike. It's that simple.
Congratulations, you got it all figured out. But maybe dying isn't the worst thing that could happen to someone.
NPNurse Papandrao
Oh, boy. If you really believe that, you're in the wrong business.
It's starting all over again, and none of you seem to care. You're outside, looking for the fringe benefits!
NPNurse Papandrao
Are we talking about the same thing?
NPNurse Papandrao
I think you've been working a little too hard, Shirley.
Don't you have to get back on the line?
Move your chair, Axelrod.
[Axelrod moves in]
I've reviewed the Colfax case, and I am not happy. What the hell is going on here?
WDr. Wade
I tried to tell Elliott-...
[Cuts Wade off] I have the floor, Dr. Wade. Now, my time is valuable. I don't like wasting it on conforming an open-and-shut case! Axelrod, I find your diagnosis entirely appropriate.
The patient has a family history of heart disease, but the size and location of the occlusion poses no grave or immediate danger. She's young, compliant, and willing to work hard to avoid surgery. Adequate medical management should give her the same, if not better, chance of survival than a bypass. Case closed. Dr. Wade, I'd like to speak with you. Axelrod, get some rest. You look terrible.
[Axelrod leaves Dr. Craig's office]
What the hell were you trying to do? Bulldoze a patient into surgery?
WDr. Wade
I thought a bypass was necessary and expedient.
In a fifty year old. With heavy left occlusion, maybe! This woman presents no intractable angina.
WDr. Wade
Dr. London supported my diagnosis.
[Wade nods her head, Craig is appalled with the answer]
The man puts Sweeney Todd to shame. He would operate for the common cold! Let me tell you something. I won't have cut-happy residents on my staff. There are too many surgeons already lining their pockets with unnecessary surgery. [hands her a folder] You blew this one, Wade. It better not happen again.
Wanna bet how long it takes this three-year-old to pass a mood ring?
How about Peter? He's good at beating the odds.
[Morrison approaches White] Let's have a look at this skull series.
The waters' view is clear.
You think Megan and Timothy have changed much?
Probably. But they're still your kids.
I'm telling ya, I'm gonna put things back together with Myra.
Good. Then you can go up to the psych ward and tell Cathy Martin you're sorry you put her in a straight jacket.
Jack, you haven't lived till you've seen Peter in action. I had the good fortune to catch his act once, and believe me, he's got a certain way with women. Unfortunately, it's a felony.
You know, you really oughta talk, Fiscus. There isn't a woman in this hospital you haven't hit on.
Took a lot of hard work, concentration, and a ski mask to get Peter where he is today. You know something for Myra's sake, I hope she's found another man.
[White and Fiscus have a scuffle]
[Stepping in to break up the scuffle] Enough! That's enough, all right? That's enough, Peter!
[Peter takes his X-rays and walks out]
Why can't you leave him alone? Why can't everybody just leave him alone?
He's doing a con job on you, Jack, and I don't know why you just lie back and enjoy it.
What brings you down here?
[Getting seductive] Do you like it? I did it for you. [Getting closer] I've been thinking about you, Peter. A lot.
[Peter approaches the door and locks it]
Wanted this for a long time.
[He makes out with her. She pulls out her gun]
I want you to be afraid. I want to see you afraid.
[shoves him] Not anymore. [points gun at him]
Now-Now what is that for?
What are you talking about?
Is this where you raped Cathy Martin?
You were gonna rape me, weren't you?
Look, you were coming on to me! I-I thought we were just having a little fun, you know.
Like the other women had fun?
What's the matter, Peter? Nervous?
Now you know what it feels like. Afraid.
Now, I want you to be afraid. Did you hit them? What did you make them do?
I don't want to hear your lies anymore.
Say it, Peter. Say it, you raped them.
No, no! No. I wanted Cathy Martin again but somebody else got her first.
Because she was the best. All right, all right. Look, I'll-I'll turn myself in. Okay?
Goodbye, Peter. [Shoots him. Walks up to the phone] Code blue. In the morgue.
So you took the job with that colonic slime, Bill Wolf, didn't you?
It's all over the hospital. Everyone is patting me on the back like I just had a baby boy.
All right, all right, I was gonna tell you.
Listen, the only reason that I'm doing this program is to provide a genuine public service.
Oh, don't give me that crap! Muammar Gaddafi is more interested in public service than that ringworm producer.
All right, I need the money. You know I got a divorce pending.
I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you turned on me for a few lousy pieces of silver.
You've had your differences with Mr. Wolf, but I don't think that should interfere with our relationship. Yours and mine, I mean.
You can count on it! You lie with dogs, you get fleas!
Well, wait a minute, you don't mean that, do you, sir?
His film eviscerated me all over the airwaves.
I guess I can't persuade you to do a guest spot some night, huh?
Who do I look like, Ben Vereen? I'm a surgeon, Ehrlich, not a buck and wing man! Scalpel!
Now where did you find this little piece of gradue, Boy's Life?
Journal of the American Medical Association. It's a documented phenomenon.
So is psychic surgery, Fiscus. But I wouldn't want to trust my gallbladder to it.
You still want me to repeat the autopsy?
You're damn right. Nightmare death syndrome of all the lame-Why MacArthur ever wanted to return to the Philippines is beyond me.
This is our last operation together, Victor. I don't want you to assist me anymore.
Look, you're a good surgeon, but ever since I came here, you've been nothing but bad jokes.
What do you mean, bad jokes?
Remember your line about Helen Rosenthal and fun bags?
When you're not insensitive, you're offensive. So I have just one suggestion to make. Why don't you do all of mankind a favor? Quit medicine. Take up your true calling, professional phony.
Read my mask, pal. You're out of here.
[Caldwell walks away back to the surgery]
All I said was you drink your bath water.
Boy, do you look terrible.
Did you call me out here to tell you that?
Wasn't Ehrlich supposed to be on rounds with you this morning?
Yes, he was. I got a message he's not going to be here. He's involved in some research project.
What is it with these residents? Is every day the Fourth of July? I mean, I need him to assist me in surgery. Kiley dropped out just a minute ago.
Any of you know what project Ehrlich is involved in?
Dream res--- Flim flam, pure and simple. Why do these funding people let the wool be pulled over their eyes using hard earned tax dollars for useless research? I don't even know why you let this Ellis woman have space in the hospital.
Mark, I had nothing to do with it.
Dream research. That kind of malarkey really singes my drawers. Yeah, well, Ehrlich just better be enjoying his dreams while he can, because here comes a living nightmare.
[Chandler stands in his way accidentally]
Can't you see I'm in a hurry?
Hi, Shirley. How are you? I haven't seen much of you lately.
Well, I don't see you in the cafeteria. You know what? You and I should have lunch one of these days.
Really? During the nurses strike I was persona non grata. Now you've decided all is forgiven?
Oh, Shirley come on. [Helen comforts Shirley] Don't you think it's time to let what happened go? Hmm?
That's easy for you, isn't it, Helen? Forgetting the past, your commitment to others? You're one hell of a role model for the nursing staff.
[Shocked] So... I guess our lunch is off. [Walks to the door]
