Dr. Westphall quotes from St. Elsewhere

Dr. Westphall

Wendy, diagnosis is less of a gamble if you start at the beginning.

Dr. Westphall

Sometimes, the people closest to a situation have the least amount of insight into it especially when it means they're going to have to recognize something they don't want to see.

Dr. Westphall

[to Anya] Dr. Craig's philosophy is this: The only problem with being on call every other night is that you miss half the interesting cases.

I'm 72 years old now and dying of cancer. Ironic, isn't it? A distinguished liver man like myself betrayed by his own liver. With the radiation and the chemotherapy I'd have a slightly better chance, but the nausea, diarrhea, stomach cramps... I'd be septicemic from the skin infections...The slightest cold could easily turn into pneumonia and finish me off in a week...

Dr. Westphall

What are you going to do?

I'm not sure.

Dr. Westphall

You know what I think?

Tell me.

Dr. Westphall

You should see a doctor.

Dr. Westphall

Sometimes, I fear I'm not too liked around here.

Oh now, Donald, it's all right. I'm not out to win any popularity contests. The work what's important, not the recognition...

Dr. Westphall

Absolutely right.

Even though I should have won last year.

I'm starting to get the impression that you resent taking responsibility for your actions.

Dr. Westphall

No, that's not true at all. I may have overlooked some administrative procedures. I'm sorry if I did but seven people are resting comfortably in isolation right now, three of whom might be dead at this time if we hadn't acted when we did. If I had to do it over, nothing would change.

He did a good job today, Ehrlich.

Dr. Westphall

Yeah. He seemed to handle himself very well.

He really measured up to the situation. You know, I'm tough on him day in, day out. And God knows, everything about him grates like sandpaper; the hair, the clothes, the lingo... But he really came through today. I think I'll keep on cracking the whip.

Dr. Westphall

You know, in the good old days, when medicine was a gentlemanly profession, people didn't sue their doctors. Nowadays, they're awarding all these huge judgments. The legal climate is...

Fertile.

So, Ehrlich lost his first patient today. It won't be the last.

Dr. Westphall

Unfortunately.

What is it in my personality that bugs people? That bugs you?

Dr. Westphall

Well, I...

Come on, come on. Give it to me straight. Don't pull any punches.

Dr. Westphall

Mark, I... What do you...

Right between the eyes.

Dr. Westphall

No, really. I...

Come on.

Dr. Westphall

Well, you're a little short on tact.

Right.

Dr. Westphall

You're rude.

Uh-huh.

Dr. Westphall

Prejudiced.

Uh-huh.

Dr. Westphall

You're intolerant of people who don't behave in the way you think they should.

[less certain] Right.

Dr. Westphall

Now, don't get me wrong. I like you well enough. I really do but, well, you're really a closed, narrow minded, judgmental human being and I don't...

That's enough. Thank you, Donald.

Dr. Westphall

Peter, I'm well aware that you've had more problems this year than anybody deserves but I have to tell you the truth. Every time I look at your evaluation, one thing becomes more and more clear to me. You don't seem to be a very good doctor.

Dr. White

Are you telling me you're thinking of dropping me from the residency program?

Dr. Westphall

It's crossed my mind.

Dr. Westphall

You know, we spend so much time in this place dealing with all kinds of sadness that when we get a chance like this to celebrate a new life, it becomes even more cherished. And now that you're all here I want to thank you for your skill, your dedication and your compassion.

A toast. To life!

To life!

Then in short, Dr. Armstrong, you never acknowledged the possibility of a genuine heart condition, in this case, infective endocarditis, which crossed the placenta and triggered premature labor.

Dr. Armstrong

[Struggling to answer the question] I... I... ..

Dr. Fiscus

[Stands to address Dr. Craig, Dr. Westfall, and Dr. Auschlander] To be honest, Mrs. Chambers' valve murmur was almost inaudible. I must have big ears. [Snickers after his joke]

Hardly seems the time for wisecracks.

Dr. Fiscus

Sorry.

Dr. Armstrong

[Trying to hold back her emotions] I'm having trouble concentrating. I was in court earlier today.

Dr. Westphall

I think we all understand that, Wendy. The point is, had you spotted her condition earlier in the clinic, she could have been put on IV antibiotics.

And probably she'd still be carrying that child.

Dr. White

I got the news.

Dr. Westphall

Good, then we don't have anything to talk about.

Dr. White

Yes, we do. I know how good my board scores were and you know the quality of my work has been improving, yet you still torpedoed me.

Dr. Westphall

You got what you deserve.

Dr. White

Even though the jury found me innocent, you're still doling out punishment like you're above the law or something.

Dr. Westphall

What gives you the right? You're the last person on this earth I have to explain myself to.

Dr. White

I'm taking you to court, Westphall. They'll force you to give me a second year. I'll be back! I'll be back.

Dr. Westphall

What's up?

Boy, do you look terrible.

Dr. Westphall

Did you call me out here to tell you that?

Wasn't Ehrlich supposed to be on rounds with you this morning?

Dr. Westphall

Yes, he was. I got a message he's not going to be here. He's involved in some research project.

What is it with these residents? Is every day the Fourth of July? I mean, I need him to assist me in surgery. Kiley dropped out just a minute ago.

Dr. Westphall

Any of you know what project Ehrlich is involved in?

Dr. Chandler

Dream research.

Dream res--- Flim flam, pure and simple. Why do these funding people let the wool be pulled over their eyes using hard earned tax dollars for useless research? I don't even know why you let this Ellis woman have space in the hospital.

Dr. Westphall

Mark, I had nothing to do with it.

Dream research. That kind of malarkey really singes my drawers. Yeah, well, Ehrlich just better be enjoying his dreams while he can, because here comes a living nightmare.

Can't you see I'm in a hurry?