Why is it wrong to tell her, huh?
Doesn't seem very manly, does it?
[sulkily] Do it in a deep voice.
S1 E22Napoleon's Battle Plan
I have a plan.
What's the plan?
It's Napoleon's plan.
Who's Napoleon?
Nineteenth century French Emperor?
Cracking wise with me now?
Yess.
Thanks.
He had a two-part plan.
What was it?
First we show up, then we see what happens.
S1 E23What Kind of Day Has it Been
Try not to traumatize the new nanny.
Why would I traumatize the new nanny?
I don't know, but you always do.
I like nannies.
I know.
I'm thinking of getting one for myself.
Good.
'Course, she'd probably end up going back to her ex-husband.
Dana, do you have the first idea how to operate any of this equipment?
This is called an owner's manual, my friend, and I've read it cover to cover.
I've read Doctor Zhivago cover to cover. It doesn't make me the czar.
S2 E1Special Powers
Isaac, you can't work full-time.
I have to.
Why?
Because they pay me to.
You had a stroke.
Is that what that was?
Yes!
I thought it was bad swordfish!
I deem that the fight is officially over.
Excellent. I deem I'm coming to bed in your tuxedo shirt, high heels and nothing else.
Excellent.
Tell me women don't have special powers!
S2 E2When Something Wicked This Way Comes
Hillary Clinton thinks I'm an idiot!
Either that or a religious bigot.
I went to an Ivy League school, Casey.
Proud day for Dartmouth, Dan.
I made an idiot out of myself in front of Hillary Clinton!
Yeah, but at least you had to spend a thousand bucks to do it.
I'm known in some parts for my first date. In certain parts I have a rep. There's such a thing as street cred, Dan.
Listen to this.
Tell them about my street cred.
Haha, seriously.
Tell them about my rep.
You don't have a rep, you don't have street cred. Your last date was 14 years ago and you ended up with marriage and a divorce.
In some parts.
There are no parts.
S2 E3Cliff Gardner
I have gifts for you.
That wasn't necessary.
I think it was. You once took a trip to Napa and you visited a small vineyard there. You told me you tried some wine that you loved and could never find it anywhere. I thought I remembered the name but I wasn't sure. Is this it?
[surprised] Yes.
Good! I always like wine with cheese.
I know.
I wanted to get you some cheese. There's a great cheese place over on Second Avenue. I went over there after I got the wine but it's gone... there's a hardware store there now.
That's okay.
I got you some spackle.
Just because we didn't execute all the network's suggestions doesn't mean we weren't listening, it just means we didn't agree. You didn't expect me to substitute your judgment for mine, did you, J.J.?
J.J. Not then, no.
But now?
J.J. Yes.
Will it keep my staff from losing their jobs?
J.J. Excuse me?
If I allow you three to go in there and mess with my show, will it keep my staff from losing their jobs?
J.J. I can't make promises.
J.J.?
J.J. Yes?
I've never liked you.
J.J. I know.
[knocks on desk] We're done.
S2 E4Louise Revisited
SSam
I've noticed you people have an ability to chatter at someone with energy and enthusiasm regardless of whether they seem interested or not.
And that's not just on camera.
Hello.
Aaah!
Did I scare you?
No.
Why did you yell?
I meant to say "hi."
What happened?
I misspoke?
S2 E5Kafelnikov
There's no question that there's a way to look at this where it's my fault.
What's another way to look at it?
There's no other way to look at it.
Good evening from New York City. I'm Dan Rydell alongside Casey McCall. Those stories plus Luciano Pavarotti shocks the track world by running the 100 meters in six seconds, my mother hits for the cycle, and Martina Hingis sings selections from No, No, Nanette.
You're watching Sports Night on CSC.
. . .
Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute, was 26 for 32 in passing...
S2 E6Shane
How do you think Dana would feel about it?
Dana?
Yeah.
Ah, who knows with Dana. One day she's up, another day she's down. That's girl's nuttier than a squirrel's cheeks in October. The point is... she's standing right behind me, right?
I cannot believe you.
Wait.
You went over my head.
I can explain this.
How?
I went over your head.
Casey!
Hey, I'm just trying to be courteous, okay? I didn't want to interrupt your dancing.
And you just sat there?
It's my desk!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Sports Night pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.