Natalie Hurley quotes from Sports Night

Dana

You have good ideas a lot. I find myself saying, "Natalie's got a good idea."

Natalie

But you also find yourself saying, "Natalie, if you screw that up again I'll set you on fire."

Dana

When was the last time you had a good idea?

Natalie

This morning, I decided not to stick my hand in the blender.

Dana

That's what I'm talking about.

Natalie

Two guys have ascended five miles into the sky. They walked up a wall of ice, and are preparing to knock on the door of Heaven itself. There's really no end to what we can do. You know what the trick is?

Dan

What?

Natalie

Get in the game.

Jeremy

Look at me. I'm not lying to you. I have a straight.

Natalie

How do you know I don't have a big house?

Jeremy

A FULL house. Dan already folded the six you needed, and I have the other one. You don't have a house of any sort, you don't have a pup tent. You've got trip sevens, and I have a straight. I want you to trust me right now. I want you to say to yourself, yeah, I've dated a string of jerks in my life, they were stupid, they were mean to me, but maybe this one's different. Maybe I should take a chance and not adopt the break-up-with-him-before-he-breaks-my-heart strategy. I want you to remember that when I started liking you, I didn't stop liking tennis. And I want you to know that I don't think there's a woman in the world that you need to be threatened by, no matter how glamorous you think she is. But mostly, I want you to trust me, just once, when I tell you you have three sevens, and I have a straight.

Isaac

May I add, Dana, that things I say in my office stay in my office.

Dana

Natalie's my second-in-command, she's the only one I told.

Natalie

Jeremy's my boyfriend, he's the only one I told.

Jeremy

I told many, many people.

Natalie

You want to leave the room?

Jeremy

No!

Natalie

Then allow for the possibility that from time to time other people might be at least as smart as you are.

Dan

Did Orlando Rojas pitch this afternoon?

Casey

I do not know.

Dan

You don't know?

Casey

I do not.

Dan

Natalie, did Orlando Rojas pitch this afternoon?

Natalie

That's a good question.

Dan

Thank you very much. Did he pitch this afternoon?

Natalie

I do not know.

Dan

Thank God none of us works in sports.

Jeremy

I deem that the fight is officially over.

Natalie

Excellent. I deem I'm coming to bed in your tuxedo shirt, high heels and nothing else.

Jeremy

Excellent.

Natalie

Tell me women don't have special powers!

Natalie

Hello.

Jeremy

Aaah!

Natalie

Did I scare you?

Jeremy

No.

Natalie

Why did you yell?

Jeremy

I meant to say "hi."

Natalie

What happened?

Jeremy

I misspoke?

Dana

My brother can beat up your brother.

Natalie

My brother's a grad student in comparative literature. My mother could beat up my brother.

Natalie

I love you, Danny. You're the best.

Casey

Hang on.

Natalie

What?

Casey

I thought I was the best.

Natalie

Things change.

Dana

Any new word?

Dan

He's still alive if that's what you're asking.

Dana

Oh, man.

Natalie

Dana!

Dana

Hey, you think there's any chance he was gay?

Natalie

Dana!

Dana

It would make a better story.

Natalie

He's on his death bed.

Dana

I am about to make this man the most famous 7th place archer in the history of sports. I think the very least he can do is die in a timely manner... and be gay.

Natalie

You're letting him make you crazy.

Dana

I'm not letting him make me crazy. I haven't given him permission or anything. He does it all by himself.

Natalie

I broke up with you, Mr. "Obviously has a short-term memory loss with a myriad of other problems which I won't even go into but thinks he broke up with me because of the short-term memory loss which is so obvious".

Jeremy

No need to be formal. I've seen you naked. Call me Jeremy.

Natalie

You dated a porn star and never slept with her?

Jeremy

Yeah.

Natalie

What a goober.