Dan Rydell quotes from Sports Night

Dan

I have a younger brother named Sam. Sam's a genius. I mean, literally. As a kid, he tested off the charts. The first computer I ever had, he built from a kit he bought with money he earned tutoring other kids in math. He's energetic and articulate, curious and funny. A great source of pride to our parents. And there's no doubt that he'd be living a great life right now, except for that he's dead. Because when you're fourteen years old, all you ever really wanna be when you grow up is your sixteen-year-old brother. And in my case, that meant smoking a lot of dope. The day I went off to college was the day that Sam got his driver's license. And he celebrated by taking a drive with some of his friends. Drunk and high as a paper kite. He never saw the red light that he ran. And he probably never saw the eighteen-wheel truck that put him into the side of a brick bank, either. That was eleven years ago tonight. And I just wanted to say I'm sorry, Sam. You deserved better in my hands. And I apologize.

Dan

A couple of months ago I wrote a check to someone. Now I'm in the middle of Dickensian London.

Dan

Well, if you've got some calm people and you want to make them upset, I say we're the guys to do it!

Dan

Honesty for Pixley!

I’m concerned with Casey’s performance on the air lately.

Dan

What's your point?

My point is, at the moment, Casey has less on-air charm and charisma than my high school driving instructor, and you know it, Dan. Now I think the time has come for you to think about the possibility of another partner.

Dan

I'm not going to do the show with your high school driving instructor, J.J., if that’s what you’re asking me.

Look, Dan, you've got a bright future at this network, and—

Dan

My future is writing and anchoring a sports program, with my partner, Casey McCall. Now, if it's here, it's here. If it's not, it's someplace else. For right now, I'm gonna forget this conversation ever took place. Dana, Isaac, you guys need anything?

Dana

No Dan, you're done here, thanks.

Isaac

I really got to admire the way you manhandled my staff this morning, J.J.

Look...

Isaac

No! Don't take me on.

The network's not going to wait forever.

Isaac

It's your call Dana, but pretty soon it's going to be my call. Cause here's the thing: I can't let it be their call.

Casey

You wanna do something tonight after the show?

Dan

Yeah, y'know, I was gonna hop a ride on the Staten Island Ferry for awhile, eat a hotdog. You wanna come?

Casey

Yeah, absolutely, and I'll tell you why. Cause it's seventeen degrees outside with the wind chill so what I want to do is stand on a boat in the middle of New York harbor at half-past midnight.

Dan

You have a better idea?

Casey

Well, we could go to a bar, find some people we don't like and beat the crap out of them.

Dana

How much do you love me?

Dan

I want to grow a goatee.

Dana

Very, very bad idea. How much do you love me?

Dan

I think it would look good.

Dana

I think you would look like Colonel Sanders. How much do you love me?

Dan

A little less than I did before the Colonel Sanders thing.

This is a third place show on a fourth rate network.

Dan

Yeah, but that's all gonna change once I grow a goatee.

Casey

He's just crazy enough to do it.

Casey

I am a commentator, I am a pundit, I am doing my job.

Dan

You're a pundit?

Casey

I am.

Dan

Well, your parents must be very proud.

Casey

They are.

How's the writer's block?

Dan

You're gonna need to get someone to fix my computer.

What's wrong with it?

Dan

It's in several pieces on my floor.

Dan

If you wear something blue you get two dollars off a giant blue margarita.

Casey

You know I make a pretty good living. I can actually afford to wear what I want and pay full price.

Dan

I'm not promoting the economic upside as much as I am the opportunity to drink something giant and blue.

Natalie

Two guys have ascended five miles into the sky. They walked up a wall of ice, and are preparing to knock on the door of Heaven itself. There's really no end to what we can do. You know what the trick is?

Dan

What?

Natalie

Get in the game.

Sally

Anyway, I really appreciate the two of you sticking around and filling in.

Casey

It's no problem.

Sally

Oh, please, you think I wanna be stuck doing the two a.m.? This is just a temp gig.

Casey

Temp gig?

Dan

Temporary gig.

Casey

Thanks.

Sally

My stuff's out there. I talk to a lot of people.

Dan

Just as long as none of them are talkin' back.

Sally

CNBC, MSNBC—

Dan

M-O-U-S-E...

Casey

Danny—

Dan

Oh, like she's listening to anybody but herself.

Isaac

Danny, I need to talk to you.

Dan

Good, 'cause I need to talk to you too. Who should go first?

Isaac

Since I don't really care what you have to say, I think it should be me.

Dan

So, I'm gonna try telling you this story one more time.

Casey

Can I just make a suggestion?

Dan

Sure.

Casey

What if, instead of you telling me this story again right this second, you never tell me this story ever?