You'll never guess what happened. Butters just beat up Scott Malkinson!
[puzzled] Butters? Why?
It was crazy! Scott was just talking about how he needed to take his insulin shot, and out of nowhere, Butters said he's sick of people with diabetes feeling sorry for themselves. Scott told Butters to shut up and Butters just started whaling on him!
You're talking about Butters?
Dude, I'm telling you! Butters beat the crap out of Scott, and then he locked himself in the bathroom!
[The boys leave the cafeteria and stand outside the restroom around the corner, where Butters has locked himself in]
[knocking on the door] Butters?
[off-screen] LEAVE ME ALONE!
Butters, come out here.
GET OUTTA HERE, ALL OF YA!
Butters, people can't just go around beating up people who have diabetes. Now, whatever your problem is, you just...
[unlocks the door and barges out] You just think you know everything, don't you, Kyle?! Every little thing, you gotta shoot your mouth off like you're the frickin' expert! Well, you don't know everything because your best friend is a kid who thinks the entire planet revolves around him and he only cares about his image! You guys think Cartman is the only selfish piece of crap in this school?! You're all fake and stuck up and none of you have the courage to tell Jimmy that his jokes aren't funny! The only kid here with any sense of dignity is Kenny, and the rest of you have your heads up your butts! [runs back into the restroom and locks himself in]
Well, apparently, Kenny is Butters' best friend. You guys gonna make out, Kenny?
[runs out of the restroom again] AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING! YOU'RE ALWAYS TRIVIALIZING EVERYTHING I SAY BY GETTING THE LAST WORD! WELL, YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE LAST WORD THIS TIME! [runs back into the restroom and locks himself in again]
Wow.
[peeks his head out the door] Double wow!
[Later… in Principal Victoria's office; Principal Victoria discusses with Stephen and Linda about Butters' behavior]
I'm sorry, but your son is distracting the other students and his attitude is just getting worse.
[irked] Butters, what on earth has gotten into you?!
[gruffly while feeling grouchy] I don't know, Dad, I was just pissed off, I guess!
[sternly] Do you think this behavior is fair to your teacher and classmates?
I don't suppose it is, but I don't give a darn!
Do you have any idea how grounded you are about to be, mister?
[angrily snapping] Why don't you shut up, Dad, and stick in your ear, for crying out loud!
[After a short pause…]
Stephen, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Yes. Our little Butters is flowering. He has reached the age of Panua.
Excuse me?
Principal Victoria, this isn't Butters' fault.
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