“Crème Fraiche” quotes from South Park

[to Randy, sternly, as she goes upstairs] Randy, do not watch that no-no channel.

I'm not staying up to do that, Sharon. Geez.

Randy, you've been watching that channel again, haven't you?!

[defiantly] No!

Yes, because every time you watch cooking shows, you stay up all night trying to copy what they made!

Well, I'm sorry if there's something wrong with me helping out with the cooking! [puts on his coat] You think you'd be grateful, Sharon. I gotta get to work. I cooked, so you guys clean up.

Stan

Can I have a Pop-Tart?

Thanks for calling the Food Network Hotline. Billing is $9.95 for each 60 second period; to accept, say "creme fraiche".

Creme fraiche. [phone line connects]

Hi there, I'm Amanda. What are you up to?

Oh, hi, I just, uh, thought I'd give the hotline a try. What are you doing?

I'm making a pan roasted chicken.

Pan roasted? Like seared on the stove and then put in the oven?

Uh-huh. I'm just taking the chicken out of the pan. It's so moist. I'm gonna let it rest now, about five minutes.

Yeah?

Yeah. Ooh, there's lots of brown bits stuck to the bottom of the skillet.

You gonna glaze that fucking pan?

Oh, I'm gonna glaze it. You wanna help me?

If I was there I would. I'd take some red wine, about a quarter cup, and then a wooden spoon and I'd glaze the fuck out of that pan.

I got a wooden spoon right here. It's pretty hard.

[as he says this, we see Sharon pick up the phone; she begins listening in when she hears Randy on the other line] Yeah, you gonna put some onion in while you're glazing?

I was thinking about shallots actually.

Uh, yeah, shallots won't overwhelm the chicken's natural flavor, fuck yeah!

[having finally had enough] RANDY MARSH!

Ah! Sharon!

Your time on Food Network Hotline has expired; to add more time, say "creme fraiche".