[after seeing Wendy taping a "Breast Cancer Awareness" poster] Look out, everyone, there's some killer titties on the loose. Could've sworn I heard them coming through the roof. Pssh, officer. We need to get an ABP out on those titties. They're too dangerous.
What is your problem?! Breast cancer isn't funny!
Not at all. [does hand puppets] Wendy, we're going to get you, Wendy. For we're boobs; we're going to kill you.
You better shut up, or I'll make you shut up!
Oh, really? What are you going to do about it, Wendy?
I'm going to kick your ass; that's what I'm going to do!
Ha ha! You're going to kick my ass?
That's right! I'm going to kick your ass!
[poses] You wanna throw down, dawg? I'll go down.
I'll smack the shit out of you!
Standing right here. Let's go, bitch.
After school; we fight after school. You got that?!
You're going to fight me after school?
As soon as that bell rings, we do it outside! And you better be there!
You're gonna fucking die!
[Testaburger residence; Wendy is in her room doing her homework]
[calling from downstairs] Wendy?!
We need to talk you, right now! [Wendy leaves her room and comes downstairs to the living room, she and her husband are both very displeased] Wendy, have you been bullying kids at school?
Well, do you want to explain why this little boy's mother had to come talk to us?
[Cartman and his mother are both sitting on the couch while Liane comforts him]
TMr. Testaburger
Did you tell this little boy you were going to beat him up?
You don't understand. He said horrible things.
[sobbing and sniffling] The thing is I totally said I was sorry. But she still wants to beat me up. [grabs Liane's blouse and cries into it as she comforts him]
Wendy, no matter what a person says, you don't respond with violence. Haven't we taught you that?
[still sniffling] The thing is, Wendy, I really think you're awesome, and I know I'm just a nerdy little weakling to you, but, I want to be your friend, because I don't have that many friends in schooool. [starts crying even harder as Liane continues to comfort him]
Wendy, you tell this little boy you aren't going to hurt him!
[to Cartman] I'm not going to hurt you.
TMr. Testaburger
If there is any word of you fighting at school, it's over for you, missy. Do you understand?
We're so sorry about this, Mrs. Cartman.
Oh, no, thank you so much for your time.
TMr. Testaburger
It really won't happen again.
[Cartman looks at Wendy, then makes faces at her and sticks out both his middle fingers, double flipping her off; Wendy gets pissed, but can't do anything now]
You're very sweet. Thank you again. Come on, muffin.
[stops making faces and looks up at her, then joins her as she walks to the front door] Okay, Mommy. Mamamama.
[As Wendy is called over to Principal Victoria's office…]
Wendy, I've been hearing rumors about a fight between you and Eric Cartman?
No, ma'am, there isn't going to be a fight.
I see. [gets up from her desk and walks to the window] I noticed all the things you've done for breast cancer awareness month. Did you know I'm a breast cancer survivor?
I was diagnosed seven years ago. Cancer is... pure evil. It is a fat little lump that needs to be... destroyed. When there is a cancer, you have to "fight" it. You can't reason with cancer, you can't wish it away. Cancer doesn't play by the rules, so neither can you.
