[Sonic skids to a stop right in front of Eggman. Amy, Sticks, and Tails arrive just after.]
So Eggman, what makes you think this stunt will go any better than the last dozen or so you've pulled?
The Luck Balance of the Universe. That's what!
What? You believe that stuff, too?
[Knuckles runs up behind them.]
Sorry I'm late. What can I do to-
[The roof falls down from the sky and lands on the ground.]
I'm unscathed! I'm a little schmitzy! But no matter. It's also laundry day!
[Eggman turns around, Orbot and Cubot follow.]
[Singing] Today is my lucky day!
[Knuckles walks up, holding his head.]
You guys okay? Wow, that was nuts. I can't believe that.
We had him cornered. What are you doing here?
You're not helping! You're just bad luck! I have an idea. Since you and your bad luck just hurt our side, why don't you just join Eggman and make it official?
Fine! If that's how you're gonna be about it, I'm gonna work with someone who appreciates me! [Knuckles runs off angrily.]
Knuckles, come back! [Sonic walks up next to her.]
Hold up. Let's let this play out.
[Dr. Eggman is floating in the Eggmobile above the destroyed building. The villagers, frightened, look up at him.]
Attention, village. Your panicked screaming and fear-addled hysteria have so charmed and delighted me these past few moments, that I wish to extend my appreciation by debuting for you my most extravagant ode to destruction yet. Behold: the Mega!
[Eggman's giant robot, called the Mega, appears in front of the villagers, and the villagers gasp in horror.]
I call him that because he's seven percent bigger than my other robots.
[Eggman, Orbot, and Cubot turn to see Knuckles walking up to them.]
Eggman, I'm through with Sonic. I'm joining your side.
[Eggman, amused, flies in a circle around Knuckles.]
Ah! A defector has come to join the winning team. More good luck!
Pretty cool robot. [He approaches the enormous robot.] New?
Yeah, nice, right? Safe to say my best ever. [Eggman pushes a button on his wrist control. The robot starts moving, but suddenly, due to Knuckles' bad luck, its head explodes. The crowd gasps while Knuckles looks at the robot, puzzled.] Though, it's basically a prototype. [The robot places its hand in the hole where its head exploded and pulls out a bomb.] Never really tested it in the field before, but the designs look really sound. [The bomb starts beeping, and the robot places it back into its body.] So, I figured with this string of good luck I've been having. [The bomb in the robot detonates, causing the body to rocket into the sky and completely explode. Parts rain down across the village, yet interestingly, Eggman chuckles happily.] Hey, now it's tested, and I don't have to clean up the mess. [Eggman turns to Knuckles.] Good luck with that, suckers! [Eggman leaves with Orbot and Cubot.]
[Knuckles feels really depressed.]
Wow, my bad luck follows me wherever I go.
[Sonic, Amy, Sticks, and Tails walk up to Knuckles.]
Or, is it good luck? After all, our side won.
But I was on the other side.
No, you weren't. I sent you on a secret mission for us.
It was so secret... even I didn't know about it.
Yeah. You see, you switched sides, and your bad luck overpowered Eggman's good luck, but you were really on our side, so by losing, you won!
[Everyone is leaving the village together.]
You know what I've been wondering, though?
Where crazy luck theories come from?
When the bad luck leaves me... where does it go?
[A large piece of the smashed robot lands right on top of Tails, revealing that Knuckles' bad luck has passed to him. Everyone turns around and sees him lying underneath the heavy metal.]
There's a perfectly good... explanation for this. [The equipment falls onto his head again.]
[Team Sonic is watching a meteor shower over it near a campfire.]
Tails, what are you doing?
[laying down on a rock looking at the sky] Just enjoying this beautiful meteor shower.
[Colorful meteors rain down from the night sky.]
That one's flying beautifully toward us!
[A meteor flies over Team Sonic and it crashes nearby.]
This could be a major find! We need to approach it cautiously and with great care so that–
Race ya! [speeds off while Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks follow behind]
[as the others catch up] Hah! First!
[Team Sonic notice Eggman, Orbot, and Cubot in the Eggmobile, which had been hovering over the crater.]
That's right, and as the intrepid explorer that first discovered this regal rock, I hearby call "dibs"!
What? You can't call "dibs".
Oh, so now you don't respect "dibs"? What's next? Are you gonna allow "cutsies", flout the 5 second rule, step on a crack without any regard for your mother's spinal column?
Of course I respect "dibs", but you can only call "dibs" if you are touching the thing you desire to "dib".
Ohhh! Well, in that case… [he and Sonic both race to the meteor and touch it at the exact same time]
Sonic [in Eggman's body]: [wakes up] Ugh... [looks around] What am I doing in Eggman's lair? [looks at a mirror and sees Eggman] Gah! Eggman! [jumps at the mirror and is knocked backwards] What the…? [with the doctor's voice] What am I doing in Eggman's body?!
[he and Cubot enter the room and approach "Eggman"] Dr. Eggman, you're awake!
We had to drag you back home. It was Spring Break all over again!
[A series of illustrated photos are shown: Eggman playing beach volleyball with his robots; Eggman singing to an audience that consists of his robots; Eggman posing with a sand castle; Cubot, snickering while placing suntan lotion on the forehead of a napping Eggman; Orbot and Cubot dragging a still-unconscious Eggman back to the lair, his body sunburned, save for a Sonic-shaped mark on the forehead.]
I'm not Eggman, I'm Sonic!
[to Cubot] He's pretending to be Sonic again.
Well, I'm not gonna be Amy this time!
[Inside, Amy is tending to "Sonic", who is lying on a hammock.]
Eggman [in Sonic's body]: [with the hedgehog's voice] Yes, Amy dear. I won't move, for I am Sonic - heh - and this is my humble shack. [Amy walks to the exit, glances at Eggman, then leaves the shack. Eggman stands up afterwards.] Alright, don't freak out, play it cool. You're Sonic now. [laughs maniacally]
[reappears] Did you say something?
Uh, no! I was just thinking of something funny that red imbecile we both know said! [nervous chuckle]
Yes, "Nuffles", that's the guy! [Amy gives a puzzled look, but leaves again regardless.] This... is... delicious. With my genius mind and Sonic's speed, I'll finally be able to destroy those pesky rodents once and for all! Time for a test drive. [starts running in place and then speeds away, but ends up crashing into a wall] Ow… Uh, this might take some getting used to.
I'm telling you, I'm Sonic! Eggman switched brains with me... I mean, I switched bodies with Eggman!
Uh, hang on. Did you switch brains or did you switch bodies?
Well then, nothing's changed.
[to Orbot] Definitely Eggman. [Orbot nods in agreement.]
Look. I'm not Eggman. I'll prove it! [attempts to use his speed, but cannot access it in Eggman's body, and now he quickly exhausts himself] Hoh, boy... can't... breathe. What is this awful feeling... in my lungs?
[sarcastically applauses] Good show, sir.
[sarcastically] Real impressive stuff, boss.
[still out of breath] Need to... find Tails. He'll know what to do!
Did you see the look on his face when he ran off?
He looked ridiculous! Especially with that stupid mustache!
All right, Noodles. That's enough.
[Thumping is then heard which shakes the ground.]
Whoa. Did you guys feel that?
[The thumping continues and is soon revealed to be coming from the Mega knocking down trees and then arriving at the shack with Sonic, Orbot, Cubot and the other robots. Eggman and the others get into position, ready to fight.]
Remember, warning shots only. I don't want anyone hurt. Got it? [notices the robot's aren't listening] Well, what are you waiting for?
We are programmed only to obey orders after being threatened.
[realizes this and sighs] All right, then. Nobody gets hurt or somebody's gonna get hurt! (Better?)
OCOrbot and Cubot
Yes, sir!
[The robots begin to move forward and attack. Amy and the others begin to destroy the robots.]
Aw, come on! Do you have any idea how much those cost? I mean, between the parts and labor... [Amy destroys a robot with her hammer.] Aw, geez! [Knuckles and Sticks destroy a few robots.]
[Sonic tries to dodge the Mega, but it accidentally knocks him to the ground causing him to land on Eggman.]
He's gonna be feeling that tomorrow.
[2 Bee Bots circle around Sonic and Eggman.]
Hey, Eggman crushed Sonic!
[Tails is working on a device. Sonic runs in.]
Tails, I need jumper cables. [Tails reaches into his toolbox without looking and grabs a pair of jumper cables, which he holds up. Sonic grabs them and runs off. Tails goes back to work. Sonic runs back.] You got any duct tape? [Tails once again reaches into his toolbox, and holds up a roll of duct tape. Sonic grabs it and runs off, but comes right back again.] How about a battery?
Antimatter or self-generating?
I don't know. Something with a lot of juice.
Tails': Antimatter's on the top shelf, behind the video games.
Thanks. [runs over, grabs 2 batteries, then runs off again]
[Tails stops short, seeing the Tailsmobile wedged between some rocks, the fan pointing upwards. Knuckles is sitting on top, in a bucket that's duct-taped to the fan, while Sonic is next to a battery, holding the jumper cables.]
Ha! Initiate "Spinning Blades of Death"!
"Spinning Blades of Death"? I guess that sounds safe.
[Sonic connects the jumper cables to the battery. The fan begins to spin, spinning Knuckles with it.]
Activating Hyper Mode. [flips a switch on the side of the battery. The fan starts spinning even faster]
[hears his Communicator beep] Oh. [activates it] Sonic here.
Sonic, did you return the book I lent you to the library?
[Knuckles goes flying off the fan in the background]
It's due today! If you don't return it on time, I'll have to pay late fees, Sonic!
Listen, Mike, I was wrong to say you're "just a guy".
And... I'll never do it again?
And... if you want, you're welcome to come with us to the next battle with Eggman.
MMike
Apology accepted. Can we go now?
No, we have to wait for Eggman to launch an attack.
MMike
(finishes off his drink) How about now?
MMike
So, now? Let's go now!
(takes a deep breath and shuts his eyes, muttering to himself) Just go to your happy place, just go to your happy place. (View of Sonic's happy place-- out on the beach, calm music playing) Wow...
(Mike inadvertently steps in)
MMike
What's this, your happy place or something? When are we going to the battle? Now? (Sonic groans, shuts his eyes, and takes a deep breath, going to his happier place-- a white void. He lets out a sigh of relief just as Mike steps in again) What's this, your happier place? Cool. So can we go to the battle now? (Sonic grumbles as a beeping interrupts him. He snaps out of his happier place, then his happy place, and opens his eyes back to reality, then to the real world, as a live-action person in a Sonic costume about to put a trash bag in a trash can.)
RWReal-world Sonic
Oops, one too many!
