[While slurping drink]: I do- I don't know, man. I didn't really enjoy it that much, to be honest.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
What, really?
Yeah, okay. Okay, look. To be completely fair, I DID really enjoy the scene when Bimblar went rogue, and he beat that woman in the head with the hammer. I thought it was artistically- and, like, tastefully done. I thought it was a well done sequence.
[Charlie has a headache listening to Allan and Glep playing a fighting video game at high volume]
Hey, can you guys turn that down? I just have a little bit of a headache.
Oh, sorry. [he turns down the video game's loud volume]
No, no, it's-it's all good, it's fine. It’s just that, erm... these guys started doing construction inside of my place at like 6:00-- [two fairies suddenly fly into the office and one of them blows a loud bugle next to Charlie's ear] ARGH!! THAT WAS RIGHT IN MY EAR, DUDE!!
FFairies
[in unison] We officially deliver a royal decree from the Princess of the Enchanted Forest! She's been unable to smile for a royal portrait and needs your assistance!
[gets overexcited] Th-the Enchanted Forest? Oh my God! I LOVE THE ENCHANTED FOREST!!!
My ear's still ringing from that noise.
[Pim recalls a childhood memory with his dad Steven, seeing a wizard and a goblin in the Enchanted Forest]
Daddy, Daddy! Can we go inside and do an epic quest with those mythical creatures?
SSteven
No, Pim! The Enchanted Forest isn't for children. It's only for heroes with unrelenting dedication, bravery and wisdom. Perhaps one day.
Oh, I love you, Daddy!
[Pim and his father kiss each other on the lips. Scene transitions back to the present]
[sighs with relief] I can't believe after all these years, I'm finally here.
[pause] You kiss your dad on the mouth?
[After Charlie and Pim wake up in a cauldron]
[groans] Where are we?
Did I pick the wrong hand?
[Charlie notices they are now further away from the castle than before]
Oh, we were RIGHT THERE, MAN!
Oh, this is gonna be great. I can’t wait to find the perfect Christmas tree. Which one do you guys wanna get? There’s - Oh, there’s a bunch.
Yeah. Look, look, uh, let’s just make it quick. I really don’t want to be here all night.
What’s up with you today, Charlie?
Huh? What- What are you talking about?
I don’t know. You just - I don’t know. It seems like you’re agitated or something.
I’m not - I’m not agitated, Pim. I just don’t want to be working on Christmas Eve. And I think that’s a pretty reasonable position to have.
When you’re in this mood, I don’t know if you realize, but it actually affects everyone else’s mood. It - it brings us down a bit.
Wait. Hold on. Hold- No, no. It affects you. Nobody else- Allan, are you affected by whatever- whatever is supposed to be happening?
I don’t really care.
Are you affected?
I just want to find a tree.
Okay. So, in other words, he’s not affected. See, Pim, here’s the thing-just because you are, you know, very positive and cheery about everything, does not mean everyone else has to conform to that.
I’m just saying, it seems like you’re often in this mood, like, it’s not just a one-off thing. It seems like you’re often like this.
What do you mean? What is that - What is that supposed to mean?
Well, it was the same with Desmond, wasn't it? I had to get you motivated for that.
Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay.
Charlie, you didn’t want to do that job, and I had to get you motivated, like I often have to do.
Okay. Yeah, Desmond was how many months ago. Also, dude, that’s a weird thing to bring up specifically, because that was one of the instances where you were not in the best mood. So the fact that you’re roping me…into asking me.
Charlie, I’m just bringing stuff up, and it’s not just Desmond.
Oh.
It’s - it’s every job we do. You never want to do anything. It sometimes just gets a bit exhausting. That’s all I’m saying.
You know, I could do the same thing back to you. I could throw stuff at you…
Okay, say it. Tell me. I’d love to say what people are saying about me.
[The Smiling Friends approach a Christmas tree to chop down with an axe.]
Okay, how about this tree?
Yeah, it’s fine. Let’s just do it.
It looks fine to me.
Alright. Pim, do you want to chop it down?
Yeah, sure.
No, no, you know what? Let me do it. [Charlie grabs the axe from Allan.] I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I’ll do it.
[Charlie starts chopping down the tree with the said axe.]
Careful, Charlie.
Pim, I'm just helping out, right? Something that I never do, according to you, right? Oh, is this- is just putting anyone in a bad mood, huh? Is this putting anyone in a bad mood?
[The Christmas tree that Charlie chops down ends up falling onto him, and kills Charlie in the process. Pim, Allan and Glep are all stunned with silence.]
[With the help of Pim and Allan, Gwimbly goes back to his old video game company, Insane Ground Breaking Games, and meets with his old CEO]
ICIGBG CEO
(in between dipping chicken nuggets in at least 7 different sauces and eating them endlessly) Ah, Gwimbly! Nice to see you after all these years! I see your "solo career" is going successfully, hm!
[ready to rip the CEO's head off, and yelling so loud he audibly distorts his mic] Oh, I swear to God, if I had my Gwimbly GUN ON ME RIGHT NOW I'D-- [runs forward to punch him, but gets held back by Pim]
ICIGBG CEO
[after offering to make Gwimbly a skin in a game] Only if you... kiss my nugget. [holds a sauce coated nugget up]
I hate this guy.
[enraged] Oh, FUCK YOU!
ICIGBG CEO
Troglor! I can't allow them to make their own independent Gwimbly game. It's my IP to sit on and do nothing with!
JJames
Hey! [James snaps his fingers to garner Charlie's attention] Where is it?
[tired, dressed up in a maid costume] I-I don't know how good this is going to be. I've-I've never made a casserole before.
JJames
Why are you dressed like that?
Because you said it would make you smile.
JJames
[He inspects the dish more closely, but finds it unsatisfactory.] I want McDonald's. [Throws a casserole dish against the wall]
[concerned] Look, I've literally done every single thing you've asked. I - I don't know why you're doing this to me but I'm begging you - I'm begging you, please. [inhales] Please, I want you to genuinely smile, please? Just smile.
JJames
[rips off a piece of Charlie's nose] Dude, I couldn't focus on what you were saying with that thing on your face. I was sick of staring at it.
[screaming in pure agony] AAAAAAAAAAAAAA--!!!
CGCount Groxia
Uh, yeah, I gotta be honest, it does sound cool, but my schedule is so packed. There's just no time, you know? My boy's learning piano, my daughter is doing… all sorts of stuff. But yeah, if I had the time I totally would. But--but no, yeah.
Are there any other characters from your stupid game?
Hmm, well, there is my trusty sidekick Mr. Millipede! I wonder what he's up to…
[Hard cut to Mr. Millipede’s tombstone at a graveyard. Gwimbly, holding a bottle of beer, and Pim, feeling sad, look at the tombstone.]
I am so sorry, Gwimbly.
It's just wrong, man. Mr. Millipede was like a damn brother to me. And I'm gonna say what nobody else is willing to say: America has a fucking fentanyl crisis. [pours the beer onto the grave] Ooh-ooh-ooooohh… [starts to sob]
That's beautiful.
Oh, Allan! I actually have a very exciting job for you too! I just ran out of those little metal things that hold paper together. The eff are they called again? You know, the thing that's all like-- [he bends his pointer finger backwards, instantly breaking it]
Paperclips?
Yeah, that's it! If you could fetch some for me, I might have a special reward for you.
Hm, what's the reward?
Well, if I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, Allan, now would it?
No, I guess not. Okay, I'm gonna go get those paperclips, then.
[deeper, "normal" voice] Cool. Cool... I really hurt my finger doing that paperclip bit.
Yeah, no, I-- I saw.
Guys, I know this might sound a little bit fucked up to say, but… I'm starting to think, for the good of humanity, we might need to kill the boss's wife.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Smiling Friends pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.