Shaggy quotes from Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated

Velma

Ugh, not that place! That guy's a total freak!

Shaggy

No, he's, like, totally cool! Just don't mention his nose.

Velma

Hey there, Cappy! What happened to the old sniffer? (Shaggy groans)

What happened? I'll tell it for you! It was a clam that took it, fierce and mighty was he, and reduced me to wearing facial underwear he did! But I'll find him, and I won't stop shucking till I do. Understand?

Velma

Yes sir, Captain Admiral, sir!

We can't let that thing get away!

Shaggy

Sure we can, Fred! All we have to do is stand right here!

Yeah, stand right here!

Shaggy

Like, we've got him!

Velma

Good going! But how did you find your way out?

(sniffing) Clam cones.

Velma

You were saved by junk food?

Shaggy

Like, what can I say? Junk food and me have a very special relationship.

Velma

Maybe I should ask it for advice.

Speaking of clam cones, I see Skipper Shelton isn't around again. Or are you, Skipper? (unmasks the Man Crab)

(arrives) Ah, back from the Laundromat, I am. And once more does me nose-hammock smell fresh as the morning tide.

Daphne

Wait, if you're not the Man Crab, then who...?

Velma

Everyone, meet Bud Shelton. (grabs Bud's head out of Man Crab disguise)

Who?

Velma

The Trickell's Triquid mascot.

And the inventor, not that dirtball, Trickell.

Shaggy

Like, how did you know, Velma?

Velma

I knew it wasn't a real crab because Daphne never got allergic when she was around it. Plus, when I saw the mole pattern on the cheek of man next to Trickell in the newspaper, I remembered the same pattern on the mascot.

He took the credit for my creation. It was supposed to be called Bud's Bloosh. I was still working on the name. I spent countless hours making the Man Crab costume and even more time building my system of trap doors and stairs under the beach. And in case anyone came snooping in between kidnappings, I hid my costume in a locker big enough to hold it, putting a label with Skipper's name on it over the real label. So if anyone found it, they'd blame him.

Daphne

All that work just to get back at Mr. Trickell? Wouldn't it have been easier and-- more legal to sue him?

Are you kidding? Lawyers take forever. I would have succeeded, too, if it weren't for you meddling brats probing into my crustacean-themed revenge scheme.

Well, "almost" doesn't shuck the clam, (to Scooby) does it, wolfie?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Velma

Shaggy, you promised me you weren't going to use the word 'like' so much. It makes you sound ignorant.

Shaggy

Oh, right. Like, um, I forgot.

Velma

Here, pick out a new pair of pants.

Shaggy

What's wrong with my pants?

Velma

You promised me you were going to start caring more about your appearance.

Shaggy

But I like those pants.

Velma

You've worn them since the eight grade.

Shaggy

They're comfortable pants

Velma

Fine.

Daphne

This is nice.

Watch it, Daphne! Remember, we're married; don't look so happy!

Velma

It's almost sunset. We'd better get inside.

Right. (loudly) Come, two young children, it's bedtime! Grandma's gonna tell you a story!

Shaggy

Oh goodie!

Quick, get inside.

Aren't you going to tell us a story?

Velma

Yes, The End. Now shh.

Mayor Jones

What in the name of whole wheat toast is going on?

We got him, dad.

You mean her.

Mary Anne Gleardan.

Mayor Jones

Your tutor? But why?

I was trying to scare all the adults out of Crystal Cove so I could run the city my way. (hocking) (to Fred) I told you, I have brilliant ideas. (to everyone) With all the adults gone, there's be no one to stand in my way. I learned about the legend of Qué Horrífico in Dr. Portillo's honors class. It was the perfect solution. I used the high school's theater department for my costume. I went to every kindergarten and elementary school in the city to convince the children to pretend to be spookified. In return I offered them Utopia! When that didn't work, I offered them candy. Whenever the children heard me playing the pan flute, that was their signal to put on their fake hair and fangs and commence spookification. I almost had the whole town cleared of adults. I would have, too, if it weren't for you (speaks latin)

Huh?

(sighs) Loosely translated it means "Meddlesome kids" in latin.

I'm going home. I miss my mom and dad. (The other kids say goodbyes and walk into their homes) By the way, this was lame. (Sheriff Stone handcuffs Mary Anne)

Wait, you're taking me to jail?! But I'm just a kid!

Sheriff Stone

Do you know how many boxes we're stuck with of Qué Horrífico t-shirts, Qué Horrífico pamphlets, Qué Horrífico dance CDs, Qué Horrífico--?

Okay, okay. I see your point.

Daphne

I'm telling you, she's up to something!

C'mon, Daphne. So, Alice was using the shower and hanging out in the school basement late at night. Haven't we all?

Daphne

What if Alice is the ghost girl the Sheriff mentioned? You could be in danger, Fred.

Don't you think I'd know if she were a ghost girl?

Velma

I'd be willing to bet... no.

Yeah, me too.

Shaggy

Yeah, like, what do we really know about Alice?

You mean, besides the fact that she's super nice, and her hair smells like peaches, and sometimes I get lost in her eyes, and -

Daphne

Fred Jones, do you like this girl?

(points at his "watch") Wow, look at the time.

Daphne

You're not wearing a watch, Freddie.

Oh. Well, I'd better go find one, then!

Angel

Looks like your ghost girl's building herself... a man posse.

Shaggy

Zoinks! Like, what if Fred's her latest possum?

Shaggy

Like, wow! I didn't know this year's prom theme was terror and pandemonium!

Velma

What's going on?

Somebody's mom is trying to kill Fred.

Gary

Yeah, thanks, Mystery Geeks, for wrecking our prom.

Don't touch me!

Mayor Jones

(arrives with Sheriff Stone) Hazy fantasie, Fred. Didn't you hear me when I said, "if you see a ghost girl, do not go to the prom with her".?

Don't worry, dad. She may look like a ghost girl, but in reality she's... (unmasks the ghost girl) Alice May. Or she's also known as...

Alice Carlswell.

Sheriff Stone

Carlswell? As in Deacon Carlswell? The Creeper?

That is right. He was my father. When daddy was in prisoned, I vowed revenge on those who put him there. I used his old costume to construct my own. When I found the legend of the evil ghost girl online, I was ready to spring my trap. I grabbed that fool Randy to throw you all off the track. And I kept him hidden and fed in my father's crypt until I could let him go. After that, it was just a matter of getting rid of your precious leader, and Fred. I'm going to zap your gang the way you feeded my father. And I would have succeeded, too, if it weren't for you meddling... schoolmates... of mine.

Sheriff Stone

All right, now let me get this straight; these T-shirts are fifty dollars each, this is cotton, right? The kind that comes from cows?

Velma

Sheriff, you need to focus. The phantom has already taken Daphne!

Sheriff Stone

Right. Where's Daphne?

The phantom took her away!

Sheriff Stone

All right, now we're getting somewhere! And by the way, what's wrong with the Jones kid? He's acting a little... squirrely.

If you had a lizard face, I'd still love you, Scooby.

And I'd love you, Harry. More Sandwich?

Shaggy

Like, okay, you know what? Enough! You can't replace me with a dummy!

Do you hear something, Harry?

Shaggy

Like, there is no Harry. Harry is you, and like, dude, I am your best friend!

Um, no, I don't think so.

Shaggy

Why don't you just stay out of it, Harry? And, like, stop watching Vincent van Ghoul movies. That's mine and Scooby Doo's thing!

Really? Cause Scooby Doo thought you cared more about girls and going to proms! (Shaggy begins to wrestle with 'Harry' before realizing that Harry's a puppet)

Shaggy

Wait, wha - what am I doing?

Mayor Jones

(arrives with Sheriff Stone) Bug-eyed biscuits, Fred. Couldn't you have waited until after the show to catch the phantom?

Sorry, dad. Not with Daphne in danger. (unmasks the phantom)

Daniel Frizette?

Shaggy

Or, like, should we call you Fantzee Pantz?

Fantzee Pantz?

Doth my eye shadow deceive? How did you know?

The villain had to be someone close to the Hex Girls to access the stage.

Shaggy

And the Hex Girls' equipment.

And their bus.

Velma

Someone with a grudge against the Hex Girls.

The Hex Girls took my career. I tried to get revenge by writing bad songs for them, but they can make anything a hit. So, I became the phantom. And I'd do it again if it weren't for the uncanny boy band knowledge of you meddling brats!

Sheriff Stone

Let's go.

Sheriff Stone

No admittance. This is a quarantined area. Besides, the movie's already started.

You're showing them a movie?

Shaggy

Yeah, aren't they, like, frozen with gnomey magic?

Sheriff Stone

I already saw the movie. Believe me, magically frozen is the perfect viewing state to be in.