Scarecrow and Mrs. King quotes

Amanda

A sex scandal?

Lee

Forget it ok it’s not your fault, I mean nobody who knows you is going to believe you’re in the middle of a sex scandal, all you have to do is take one look to know it’s ridiculous.

Amanda

Why?

Lee

Why what?

Amanda

Why is it ridiculous?

Lee

Amanda.

Amanda

Just because it isn’t true doesn’t make it ridiculous.

Lee

Look why are we having this ridiculous conversation?

Amanda

I think we’re having this ridiculous conversation because you said it was ridiculous...

Lee

Alright, alright... you’re sleeping with Lord Bromfield, how’s that?

Amanda

Ridiculous.

Billy

No more discussions Scarecrow your going and that’s final.

Lee

But Billy, I was scheduled for a vacation, I’m going to the Riviera.

Billy

It’s only for a week, France will be there when you get done.

Lee

Ok, ok I wanted this to be a surprise but, now you know how you have been on me about my field reports being behind, well I was going to use this time to bring them up to date.

Billy

On the beach at Nice, or in a casino in Monte Carlo?

Francine

Alright this should be a very important lesson for each and every one of you in order to survive in this business one should always expect the unexpected. If this had been a real assault Mrs King you would be dead right now.

Amanda

Well, I guess you learn something new every day.

Amanda

This is exciting isn’t it, you and me a team?

Lee

Yeah, Laurel and Hardy never had it so good.

Amanda

Ah, what am I doing wrong?

Lee

Almost everything.

Amanda

How about telling me what you’re doing here?

Lee

I need you.

Amanda

You need me?

Lee

I need you, I came to ask you out.

Amanda

You mean on...?

Lee

A date? Yeah well sort of.

Amanda

Oh sort of, you mean it’s business, it’s not you know pleasure?

Lee

No, now that’s where your wrong it’s pleasure, for you it will be pleasure, for me...I may have to work just a little bit, but for you it’s just straight out pleasure.

Amanda

Oh, well if it’s gonna be such a lot of fun why don’t you just take the girl that your seeing now, who is it, Margo? She’s the current one isn’t she?

Lee

Margo and I aren’t seeing each other any more.

Amanda

Oh well, you do go through them.

Lee

What are your plans for the next few days?

Amanda

You mean this weekend?

Lee

This weekend, maybe a little longer.

Amanda

Ah Mother and I have some shopping to do.

Lee

You can do that anytime.

Amanda

No, no we really can’t because Mother needs to get a new coat, there’s a sale and she has to buy a coat. And there’s my friend Cindy Holcombe from college, I haven’t seen her in ten years and she’s gonna be in town and we’re gonna have lunch on Saturday.

Lee

Ten years?

Amanda

Yeah, yeah ten years, but we write every Christmas and she’s gonna bring pictures of her little girl this time.

Lee

Hmm I can see why you wouldn’t want to miss that, a Cruise ship isn’t in the same league.

Amanda

A cruise ship?

Lee

Yeah.

Amanda

She’s gonna be here a couple weeks.

Lee

A luxury liner, I need somebody as part of my cover on a trip to the Caribbean.

Amanda

Well you know she actually said next weekend would be better for her than this weekend.

Lee

Calypso bands, warm tropical breezes.

Amanda

Lee, do you really need me?

Lee

I need you.

Amanda

Well then that’s it, I’m there.

Lee

That’s why you’re here it’s part of my cover, we have to be engaged because it’s a special cruise.

Amanda

What kind of a special cruise?

Lee

Ah it’s a wedding cruise, nothing but engaged couples so in two days we dock in St Angelo in the Caribbean.

Amanda

Yeah?

Lee

And we all get married.

Amanda

That’s asking too much.

How long have you been engaged?

Lee

Three Months.

Amanda

Six Months.

Lee

Ah officially three months, I asked her six months ago...

Amanda

It took me a little while to make up my mind.

You mean you nearly gave a catch like him a chance to throw the hook?

Amanda

Well... he was pretty firmly hooked.

Lee

Ah Amanda, I know what you thinking but … ta da... adjoining rooms

Amanda

Hmm.

Lee

That’s not what you’re thinking?

Amanda

No it isn’t, it really isn’t, what I was thinking was that you had plenty of time to tell me all the details about our assignment. You could have told me in the supermarket, you could have told me in the car on the way to the airport, you could have even told me in the airplane.

Lee

Alright maybe I should have said something.

Amanda

Maybe you should have said something? Lee, on a need to know basis, I think maybe this time I had a need to knowǃ

Amanda

Oh, well, how can I get into any trouble walking around the deck?

Lee

If anyone can manage it, you can.

Lee

Now where were you between November of ’82 and mid January of ’83?

Amanda

Are you Perry Mason? Am I supposed to crack under the pressure, or something?

Amanda

Why would anybody try to dirty up my records?

Francine

Because you're perfect Amanda, the textbook tells us that in situations like this it’s always someone obscure.

Amanda

Someone obscure?

Francine

Yes Amanda and that’s you, dealing with unimportant information, always there but not really doing very much, pleasant, unassuming, easy to overlook, loyal, faithful.

Amanda

Like your dog... if you had one.

Lee

Amanda, come on she didn’t mean it that way.

Francine

No, no what I meant was she’s just one of those little people that one hardly ever notices, you know, like waiters or servants.

Billy

Francine, if you're through making her into a piece of the office furniture, may we please get back to the business at hand?

Lee

(undercover as a pest controller) Are you the lady who called about the ants?

Amanda

Ants?

Ants?

Amanda

Lee, I’m being judged.

Lee

For what?

Did you say ants?

Lee

Yes maam, you got em, we get em, they’re usually in the kitchen, it’s those crumbs, vacuuming helps, have you got a vacuum?

Francine

Yes of course I’ve got a vacuum, what I don’t have is antsǃ

Francine

Oh, oh I’m glad I caught you.

Lee

Caught me, you almost tackled me.

Francine

Yeah, wishful thinking.