Francine Desmond quotes from Scarecrow and Mrs. King

Francine

Children. This case is nastier than I thought.

Francine

I must say it is a naughty little skeleton for the housewife of the year to have in her broom closet.

Francine

Oh boy, that’s tough luck huh, you’ve got your vacation all set and then here you are up to your hind end in big time crime. I suppose Amanda could go out there first and you could go later, I mean you’re not inseparable are you?

Francine

Well, I understand you gentlemen have to report to the principal's office.

Billy

Tag along, Francine.

Francine

Why do I have to go?

Billy

One of the chores of being my assistant is helping take the blame.

Lee

I bet she didn't give it to him.

Who? Who?

Lee

The lady I gave the package to.

You gave classified information to a stranger?! That violates every procedural ordinance ever written!

Lee

Dirk, I didn't want to lose the package.

Francine

It was the same ploy that Lee used in Munich in his brilliant rescue of Dr. Forbisher's formula. His methods might be unorthodox, but the Scarecrow always delivers.

Lee

I owe you a drink.

Francine

You owe me a dinner.

Billy

Scarecrow. I think we've finally found you a partner.

Lee

Knock it off, Billy.

Francine

Oh, you two are darling together. I understand she knits or something.

Lee

I'd button it, Loose Lips.

Francine

Billy! It was after six o'clock. Bumpy Holcomb would already be in the yacht by that time, halfway through his soup course.

Lee

Bumpy?

Francine

To his more intimate friends, yes.

Lee

I'll never know what you see in that guy. He's hardly your type.

Francine

He's got money, looks, power, a house down in Rio. He's exactly my type.

Francine

So, how is married life treating you, huh? Dinner at six? Dishes at seven? TV till nine?

Lee

Bed.

Francine

Bed?

Lee

You know, Francine, I've gained a lot of respect for the generosity and... stamina of the American housewife.

Francine

You're disgusting.

Lee

Francine, if you could pinpoint the single major reason as to why Amanda King gets to you, what would it be?

Francine

Her complete lack of ... everything.

Amanda

Yes, sir. Well, I'd just like to go on the record as saying that I regard Lee as a friend. And as such, I'm a little uncomfortable in snitching and spying on a friend.

Francine

Oh, don't be. That is standard operating procedure around here.

Francine

I could have married royalty. A prince proposed to me once.

Billy

Why didn't you accept?

Francine

His country was too small.

Billy

Be nice.

Francine

When am I anything but?

Amanda

Well, I was just wondering ... shouldn't I know how to hit?

Billy

Excuse me?

Amanda

Well, shouldn't I have certain skills, you know, like self-defense, maybe know a few codes...

Billy

Amanda, surely you realise that your value to us is that of a civilian. I don't need another agent.

Francine

Were you to become a known operative, your usefulness would be over.

Lee

Yeah, it's great you don't know anything. The enemy could torture you for weeks and not get a thing.

Amanda

Oh, well, I appreciate that. But I don't think staying alive would compromise my usefulness too much.

Francine

I spent the entire evening with an IRS man.

Lee

Come on, Francine, do you have to give me all the gory details of how you got the information?

Francine

Yes, I do. First, we went to a tiny little restaurant with imitation wood tables and no wine list to speak of and then, then he suggested that we go back to his condo.

Lee

Oh, come on now. It's not like you've never done that before.

Francine

Not to music, I haven't.

Francine

Listen, Billy. Would you mind explaining one tiny, little inequity to me?

Billy

What's that?

Francine

Well, it just seems that while I, the seasoned professional, am in here, digging through files, socializing with the IRS, and Amanda, the rookie, is out whooping it up with royalty, ex-movie stars, and Lee Stetson. I mean, I'm asking you, who do you know that is better at mingling with and flattering the idle rich than I am?

Billy

No one.

Francine

Ah-hah. So, you can explain the situation to me?

Billy

Certainly. That's the way life is.

Francine

Why do I even ask these questions?