Scarecrow and Mrs. King · Season 3
Just a minute, Mr. Stetson. There's a little matter of ladies underwear.
Look, lady, a good friend of mine is rubbing elbows with some of the most blood thirsty terrorists in the world, and she doesn't know it. I'll have to get back to you on that underwear problem...
A professional trained agent plans every detail, every nuance – the word accident does not enter into their vocabulary.
Well heaven forbid one tiny little compliment should escape your lips.
I’m just trying to point out it takes technique.
Oh?
Look for instance, I’m sitting right here on this park bench now your assignment is to make a casual and natural contact, establish a relationship with me and then get me to ask you to the Kennedy tonight for a Verdi festival.
How am I supposed to do that?
Look you sit and I’ll show you – hey toots.
Ugh.
How ya doin? – heard any good opera lately?
No I can’t say that I have.
Then what do you say that we hit the Kennedy for a little Verdi?
Sorry I’m busy.
Gee that’s too bad, these were for tonight.
Are those real?
About 8?
I’d love to.
See how easy that was?
Hello Mother, language tape, Russian, I always wanted to learn a second language.
Well that’s wonderful.
Yeah.
Why Russian?
Oh caviar...
What did you just say?
The pregnant sow has lost her piglets.
Ah well that’s very interesting... where are you going to use that?
On a farm... a Russian farm.
What are you doing out here?
Oh I’m just out here practicing my Russian Mother, you know the warthog wants more Caviar... it’s a very important phrase though no one understands why.
That’s probably the reason why our two countries don’t get along.
Oh. Alright. Okay. So that’s fine. Here’s what we’ll do. You give us your black book, we’ll divide it up and just start dialing.
Right.
Books.
Books?
I have four of them.
I should have known.
You're dead again.
I know I’m sorry.
For Pete's sake at least fire the weapon Mrs. King, it’s the only way to shut this thing off... Nice, look you just got the agencies all time low ball score, see the object of the thing is to fire your weapon at your adversary not the ceiling... the ceiling’s on our side.
It’s all yours.
Oh no, no.
What’s the matter?
He thinks he’s going to give me this Q Bureau for keeps.
Well that’s wonderful.
No it’s not it’s just more work.
Now here’s the combination to the vault, it’s really a shambles in there we’ll get all the locks changed and this button is the silent alarm.
Now I know why they issued us cyanide capsules, you make me do this and I’ll use mine.
Feel free, Amanda if he lives help him straighten things out.
Hello there.
Hi.
Well thanks for the picnic, you really know how to give a girl a good time.
Well you make a pretty mean chicken sandwich.
Oh my BLT’s even better.
Oh toasted wheat, crisp bacon, a touch of mayo.
Just a touch.
Sounds perfect.
Lee – about last night.
I know, I know it was just two cold people seeking a little warmth – right.
Not exactly...
Where is Mr Melrose?
That is on a need to know basis.
I need to know.
Well I don’t need to tell you.
You know this is what always happens.
What?
I always have to go back to the Agency.
We’ve got to divide the work.
I agree with you let’s divide the work load, you follow the paper trail and I’ll follow Zorbel.
You think you can break into Zorbel’s place?
No.
Well?
Call me a cab.
You’re a cab.
Thank you
Well you’d better get hazardous duty pay Amanda, because M street is kind of a combination of ah…tag team wrestling and full contact karate.
Do you know that first hand? – I’m just kidding Francine, I’m sorry I never should have opened my mouth, I know you’ll get me back.
You’re right.
I really am sorry… I couldn’t help it.
Oh.
What?
Well some of this stuff is a little misleading you know, it’s the legal talk, I mean it says I’m resistant to change and that can’t be me, I was never a stubborn person, I’m just not a stubborn person.
Well you sure know how to get what you want.
Lee – I’m not stubborn am I? Ok I’m a little stubborn.
You know now there are a few things that we probably ought talk about before we get checked in. You know I know we don’t have any problems now but we’re out here in the parking lot in the middle of the day and we wouldn’t want to have any problems later so if we could just get a few things straight now...
Amanda this really isn’t necessary...
I know it isn’t but just indulge me ok?
Oh alright.
Well alright in the first place I like to take my shower first thing in the morning, now I know that there’s some men who like to go into the bathroom and they lock the door and they go in with the newspaper and the shave and they read the paper and I don’t know what they do in there but they take over an hour – and I just hope your not one of those kind of guys, you know? But anyway even if you are maybe we can figure out some sort of a compromise that’s comfortable for both of us. Now the other thing is when I sleep at night I like to leave the window cracked just about this much, just enough for a little fresh air, now I hope that’ll be alright with you if it won’t I’ll crack it just about that much...
Amanda.
Yeah?
We’re registered as brother and sister.
You and me?
Yes we’ve got our own room, bathroom, bedroom the whole works.
Well that’ll make things much easier.
Yeah.
We don’t look a thing alike.
Oh well isn’t this a cozy little place you to have here.
My room's down the hall Francine.
Oh, well, how times have changed Scarecrow.
Let me walk you to your room.
Across the hall?
Well yeah – you can’t be to careful you know?
That’s good thinking.
Hmm second nature, field experience.
What kind of field experience?
You know.
Not necessarily.
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