I’m really very sorry Amanda, I know I’m not being very much fun tonight.
Oh that’s alright Lee, we never have much fun.
S2 E16Life of the Party
You know what that slave driver Mrs Flannigan wants me to do later on?
No.
Clean the kitchen.
No problem.
Oh no problem that’s easy for you to say. Amanda I am an expert in hand to hand combat, small arms weaponry, wealthy men between thirty and forty, but definitely not a kitchen person.
S2 E17Odds on a Dead Pigeon
How did you know it was me?
Who else do I know whose last words would be ‘oh my gosh’?
S2 E19D.O.A.: Delirious on Arrival
Drop it or I’ll splatter you all over the stage.
RRetzig
You irritate me Mrs King perhaps you should die first.
Dog meatǃ
It’s alright partner, you won’t be needing that anymore.
Good work Scarecrow, Bill will be pleased lets get this dirtbag down to the station.
Yes Ma'am.
S2 E20You Only Die Twice
It was just a tiny computer error that’s all it was, now it could have been worse, the obituary could have been for real.
Yeah well look as far as all my friends are concerned it is real, do you know how many people called my Mother this morning and sent flowers?
Well at least you know you were well liked.
I knew I was well liked before this happened.
Sir, am I back among the living
Define living
S2 E22Murder Between Friends
Amanda, were you killed?
Oh no Sir.
Good work.
Amanda I have to tell you something, I never liked the idea of you working for IFF, I mean they should have moved you up, given you something challenging to do, I think you're gonna find this new job much more exciting.
Oh I hope not.
I was arrested.
Arrested, what on earth for?
Murder.
Oh don’t be ridiculousǃ
Mother, they found my fingerprints on the murder weapon.
How?
I was at his house.
Whose house?
My boss.
You mean your boss was murdered your first day on the job?
Yes Mother, I feel terrible about it.
Amanda, they could blame youǃ
Mother they do blame me that’s why I was in jail.
S2 E23Vigilante Mothers
Amanda, is that house at the end of your street still up for rent?
You mean the Cooperman house? I think so why?
Well I know someone who wants to rent it for awhile.
Who?
Me, I want to get closer to someone who lives there.
Oh, we could go to dinner you don’t have to move in down the street.
Aaaahhh!
Hi.
Amanda, what the...? You just about scared the hell out of me.
Oh, I’m sorry. Now you know what it feels like.
S3 E1A Lovely Little Affair
FFaber
Just a minute, Mr. Stetson. There's a little matter of ladies underwear.
Look, lady, a good friend of mine is rubbing elbows with some of the most blood thirsty terrorists in the world, and she doesn't know it. I'll have to get back to you on that underwear problem...
A professional trained agent plans every detail, every nuance – the word accident does not enter into their vocabulary.
Well heaven forbid one tiny little compliment should escape your lips.
I’m just trying to point out it takes technique.
Oh?
Look for instance, I’m sitting right here on this park bench now your assignment is to make a casual and natural contact, establish a relationship with me and then get me to ask you to the Kennedy tonight for a Verdi festival.
How am I supposed to do that?
Look you sit and I’ll show you – hey toots.
Ugh.
How ya doin? – heard any good opera lately?
No I can’t say that I have.
Then what do you say that we hit the Kennedy for a little Verdi?
Sorry I’m busy.
Gee that’s too bad, these were for tonight.
Are those real?
About 8?
I’d love to.
See how easy that was?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Scarecrow and Mrs. King pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.