A character in Scarecrow and Mrs. King
Played by Martha Smith
Scarecrow and Mrs. King · 230 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Scarecrow and Mrs. King: in 40 of its 230 quotes
Most scenes with: Lee Stetson (20), Amanda (17), Billy Melrose (11)
FrancineHey, everybody, drink up. We have just captured the leader of the most successful espionage ring in the country.
Uh, we?
FrancineWell, yeah, I like to think of us as one big, happy team around here. Sharing in the pain, sharing in the heartache.
Sharing the credit.
FrancineIf I must.
FrancineUh, I really have to be going, could I take a raincheck on that strudel?
Oh. All right. Be careful with that chimpanzee!
We have a man on the inside investigating.
Lee?
Lee.
FrancineLee used to play football, you know?
Where?
FrancineOh, at many of the universities he was thrown out of.
Now, don't be nasty, Francine, huh?
FrancineI wouldn't dream of it.
FrancineBilly, these are the...
Oh.
FrancineAmanda. You're here. Well, I was under the impression that you only worked with us in connection with Lee.
Uh, well, I was very upset and, uh, Billy was trying to console me.
Buck up, Mrs. King.
Yes. Thank you, that... that helps. I'd better go now.
Mrs. King?
Hello. Do you work here?
Oh, boy.
Uh, this is Billy Melrose, our section chief. And, uh, Francine. Do you remember Francine?
How do you do? No.
FrancineThat's interesting. I've often been told I'm unforgettable.
FrancineOoh, Amanda, dear, is that why you're busy tonight? Very busy, apparently, hmm?
Amanda, do you know what that is?
Yes, it's a, um, it's a friendship ring.
No, it's a Concubine ring.
No, it isn't, it's a friendship ring.
It's a Concubine ring, there's a whole collection of them in the Topkapi Museum, I know that for a fact.
Yes, I know that, I know that. I know that. It's a friendship ring. It was given to me by a friend, and therefore it is . . . simply . . . a friendship ring.
FrancineOkay. Sure. Friendship.
FrancineIt's funny, I never knew that coat made me look so --
Big. Oh, it doesn't.
FrancineWhat happened to you?
I was mugged.
You were what?!
I was mugged. In the middle of the street, broad daylight.
That's terrible!
FrancineThat's funny. You know, the same thing happened to me just last week. I was outside the airport making a surveillance pass and all of a sudden I felt this big arm lock around my neck from behind.
What did you do?
FrancineOh, I spiked his instep with my heel, thumbed his eyesockets, pressed my forearm against his larynx, and then brought up my knee in a lifting motion.
I just screamed.
FrancineHm. So did he.
FrancineAlright this should be a very important lesson for each and every one of you in order to survive in this business one should always expect the unexpected. If this had been a real assault Mrs King you would be dead right now.
Well, I guess you learn something new every day.
Why would anybody try to dirty up my records?
FrancineBecause you're perfect Amanda, the textbook tells us that in situations like this it’s always someone obscure.
Someone obscure?
FrancineYes Amanda and that’s you, dealing with unimportant information, always there but not really doing very much, pleasant, unassuming, easy to overlook, loyal, faithful.
Like your dog... if you had one.
Amanda, come on she didn’t mean it that way.
FrancineNo, no what I meant was she’s just one of those little people that one hardly ever notices, you know, like waiters or servants.
Francine, if you're through making her into a piece of the office furniture, may we please get back to the business at hand?
(undercover as a pest controller) Are you the lady who called about the ants?
Ants?
Ants?
Lee, I’m being judged.
For what?
Did you say ants?
Yes maam, you got em, we get em, they’re usually in the kitchen, it’s those crumbs, vacuuming helps, have you got a vacuum?
FrancineYes of course I’ve got a vacuum, what I don’t have is antsǃ
FrancineOh, oh I’m glad I caught you.
Caught me, you almost tackled me.
FrancineYeah, wishful thinking.
FrancineYou know what that slave driver Mrs Flannigan wants me to do later on?
No.
FrancineClean the kitchen.
No problem.
FrancineOh no problem that’s easy for you to say. Amanda I am an expert in hand to hand combat, small arms weaponry, wealthy men between thirty and forty, but definitely not a kitchen person.
Sir, am I back among the living
FrancineDefine living
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Scarecrow and Mrs. King pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
