George W. Bush quotes from Saturday Night Live ... TV Quotes Database

GWGeorge W. Bush

(in a message to Osama bin Ladin) If you really wanted to win against me at something, you should have challenged me to a game of Scrabble. Or perhaps a beard-off, for you see, I don't have a beard. And when I do, it comes in all patchy.

S1 E15 Unfinished Business

View quote →

GWGeorge W. Bush

Don't mess with Texas.

S1 E15 Unfinished Business

View quote →

Sam Donaldson (Kevin Nealon): Vice-President Bush, there are millions of homeless in this country - children who go hungry, and lacking in other basic necessities. How would the Bush administration achieve your stated goal of making this a kinder, gentler nation?

George Bush (Dana Carvey): Well, that is a big problem, Sam, and unfortunately the format of these debates makes it hard to give you a complete answer. If I had more time, I could spell out the program in greater detail, but I'm afraid, in a short answer like this, all I can say is we're on track - we can do more - but we're getting the job done, so let's stay on course, a thousand points of light. Well, unfortunately, I guess my time is up.

Diane Sawyer (Jan Hooks): Mr. Vice-President, you still have a minute-twenty.

GBGeorge Bush

What? That can't be right. I must have spoken for at least two minutes.

DSDiane Sawyer

No, just forty seconds, Mr. Vice-President.

GBGeorge Bush

Really? Well, if I didn't use the time then, I must have just used the time now, talking about it.

DSDiane Sawyer

No, no, Mr. Vice-President, it's not being counted against you.

GBGeorge Bush

Well, I just don't want it to count against Governor Dukakis' time.

DSDiane Sawyer