Is that my toothbrush?
Would I have a toothbrush that did this?
[music starts playing from the toothbrush, Cat starts dancing]
“#NewGoat” · Season 1, Episode 4
In this episode: Sam Puckett (5), Cat Valentine (5), Nona (1)
[doorbell]
Here, pick a channel. Nothing educational.
[the goat changes the t.v. channel; Sam opens the entrance door]
Yeah?
DDilben
Let me in.
Why?
DDilben
Thank you. [watches a goat in the sofa] Ahoy! I knew I smelled an animal.
Ahoy?
DDilben
You're not allowed to have that beast in this building.
Why are you wearing a cape?
DDilben
Because I am.
Are you a magician?
DDilben
No.
Superhero?
DDilben
No. I wear a cape because I like capes.
Weirdos like capes.
DDilben
[shows the printed papers] See this here?
No.
DDilben
This paper.
Did something poop on your forehead?
DDilben
I command you to listen to me!
[Sam places two donuts on her ears]
DDilben
This says, "Residents of this building may keep cats or small dogs. No other animals allowed."
Are caped weirdos allowed?
DDilben
You're new to this building, aren't you?
Kinda.
DDilben
Well, I happen to be a big deal around here. And you have one day to get rid of that goat.
That's not a goat.
DDilben
Is, too.
It's a cat.
DDilben
That's a lie.
It's a small dog.
DDilben
Another lie!
So you have no friends?
DDilben
Irrelevant! Sign this, to show that you've been warned about your goat.
I'm not signing anything.
DDilben
You will sign it! Or I won't leave. [the next scene depicts Dilben with his shirt around his waist and his pants over his head, kicked out of the apartment by Sam] How dare you put my shirt around my waist and my pants around my torso!
Thanks for stopping by.
DDilben
You give me back my cape!
No.
DDilben
Why not?!
Because young boys shouldn't wear capes. [closes door]
DDilben
[leaving] Sherlock Holmes wore a cape.
[someone knocks the door twice]
Come in, Dice.
DDilben
I'm not Dice. I'm—
Get out.
No. Um, hi, Dilben! Come in. Would you like a muffin?
DDilben
I spit on your muffins.
You should try butter.
DDilben
Your goat is still here.
It's not our goat.
We're just babysitting him.
DDilben
Yeah, right.
Hey, you got another cape.
DDilben
I wanna speak to your grandmother.
My Nona?
DDilben
Get her.
She doesn't live here anymore.
DDilben
Whaaat?
She moved to Elderly Acres.
Yup.
DDilben
Interesting. And who else lives here with you two?
Nobody.
DDilben
Delicious.
What are you yammin' about?
DDilben
Building rules! All apartments must have at least one adult resident. And since you're both in high school, and you're keeping a goat! My father has two reasons to throw you out! [tries to leave the house but Sam interrupts him]
Dilben.
DDilben
Yeeees.
Before you go… [the next scene shows Dilben with his shirt around his waist and his pants over his head, once again kicked out of the apartment by Sam] Enjoy your Saturday.
DDilben
I still have one more cape!
Suck a truck. [closes door]
DDilben
[leaving] I will not suck a truck! Or enjoy my Saturday!
[opens door] Alright, Dilben, you can have your cape back! [Dilben runs to the door trying to get his cape back] Whoops! [closes the door; Dilben fails and leaves]
NNona
Call Dr. Stanky.
Dr. Stanky!
Use your phone.
Boys, boys, boys! Fighting is never the answer! Now let's try using our words.
You know what they say, "Easy like a goat."
Who says that?
The goat keepers?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Sam & Cat pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.