Sam & Cat · Season 1, Episode 3
“#TheBritBrats” · Season 1, Episode 3
In this episode: Cat Valentine (7), Gwen (4), Ruby (4), Sam Puckett (3), Dice (2), Nona (2)
Wait!
Yes?
We want to buy that card.
But I'm buying it. Here's my $5.
I'll give you $10 for that card.
I'll pay you $50 for that card.
$100!
$200!
[brings her hand up to her heart] Ugh, my pace maker!
Alright, I'll buy that bingo card for $500!
[everyone in the room gasps]
I'm sorry, but I have to sell the card to this little foreign girl.
But…but…but…
Yes!
[the two girls walk off, then they turn around and blow raspberries at Cat]
The next number is…G41.
[everyone awws]
Yes! Look, Ruby, we got another one!
We should go to Vegas!
Okay, the next number is… [sarcastically trying to trick everyone, especially the two little girls] …ahh, there's a scratch on this number; I should probably just throw this one in the trash—
Just say the number!
Get on with it!
…B7.
Bingo!!
[everyone awws]
We just won a giant television machine!
Wooo!
[enters whistling] Okay, this is a raid.
[everyone gasps]
We are being raided?
This is an illegal bingo game.
Since when is bingo illegal?
When you're giving away a prize worth over $2,000.
Cat! You're running an illegal bingo game!
But it was Nona's idea!
I don't even know these girls!
That snack…that snack she's eating! Is she eating… [grabs the little girl eating bibble, smells her breath]
Bibble!
[Cat lets go, walks backwards screaming]
You want some?
No! Yes! I mean, how much bibble do you have?!
We brought a big tin jug of it…
…from England.
[Cat screams, picks up and hugs both of the little girls]
I'm baaaaaack!! [runs with her jug of bibble to the kitchen] I got bibble! I got bibble!! I'm back and I got bibble!! Woooooooo!!
Did you get my money back?
Yes! At first.
And then what?
And then, they had this big tin jug of bibble which I bought! Where's my spife? [looks and finds her spife] There's my spife! [starts to open the jug of bibble]
Wait, how much did you spend on that can?
The can was free; I just paid for the bibble inside.
How much?
$500! Plus my bike! [points at Dice] Don't judge me. [carries on opening the bibble]
You gave those little Brit brats all Dice's money?!
And my bike! Everybody clear? Everybody up to speed? I hope so 'cause I gotta eat me some bibble! [opens the tin jug to find a load of cotton swabs]
Cotton swabs?!
I fell off my bike, but I don't think I broke any of my parts.
So what do you guys wanna do?
Oh, anything would be lovely.
Lovely.
We could make some tea.
You could do our laundry.
We could play games.
You could rub my feet.
We could sing songs.
While you rub my feet.
Those little girls were supposed to sell me five new Pear Phone sixes. And they sold me rocks. Rocks!
They're nice rocks.
Who cares?
Any rock collector would.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Sam & Cat pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
