Salute Your Shorts quotes

Donkeylips

Great! Just when things are going good, I get this! Garbage! All my life is garbage!

Sponge

So pick up your life and stuff it back into this trash bag. Come on!

Sponge

How could you be so dumb?

Donkeylips

It's not my fault, it's my pocket's fault!

Sponge

You owned the pants, you own your pocket, it's your fault!

Donkeylips

No! My mom brought the pants, it's her fault!

Look at it this way: cleaning up camp helps the environment!

Budnick

Look at it this way: zip it!

Donkeylips

My mom says I'm the right weight.

Telly

Yeah, if you were nine and a half feet tall.

Budnick

Hi guys. I come bearing good news.

They hung the chef?

Either this is some kind of sauce or my bratwurst is sweating.

Maybe it's a species of lima bean.

Michael

I don't think lima beans have little twitching legs.

Budnick

Wrestling is about dressing up like Sergeant Slaughter and jumping from the top rope

Donkeylips

I love this guy! He once did a whole show butt-naked!

Sponge

How could you tell? It's radio!

Michael

Oh they're broken.

Sponge

Oh no...

Michael

What are we gonna do now?

Sponge

I'm gonna...throw up.

Michael

No not now...

Donkeylips

Whoa! Power puke!

Budnick

It's a parade of losers...loser, loser, loser, loser...and loser!

I'm going to sleep much better knowing I got full fluoride protection.

I read that there's something in toothpaste that keeps ghosts away.

Telly

How?

Well, I'm not sure, but it's something 4/5 doctors recommend.

Telly

Which doctors?

Exactly, witch doctors.

Donkeylips

Cross my heart and hope to die...stick a pizza in my mouth.

Michael

Ug? who did I just puke on?

Ug

Hey, Thud, you better go wash up.

Budnick

[right after the play ends, and the crowd looks perplexed] You know, if we did Amazon Girls a Go-Go, they'd be dancing in the aisles by now.

Donkeylips

[rapping] I'm a rappin' mouse, and I live in a house, but they say I'm a louse, so I must be a horse, of course.