Royal Rumble quotes

Ladies and gentlemen, per order of the chairman, Mr. McMahon, he has ordered that this match be restarted!

Batista from Raw overpowering John Cena...

No, no, no, no [Batista throws Cena out, finally winning the Rumble] NO!

Batista beats Cena! Batista, the exclamation point, is on the sentence!

The winner of the Royal Rumble match: Batista!

It was not without controversy, but by God, we know now who's going to the main event at WrestleMania, Tazz!

[as the numbers are being mixed] You see the problem with the whole living in the fantasy world, talking about destiny. I live in reality.

Reality, huh?

Yeah, I live in reality world. Realities like...me beating you for a title, or realities of you not standing a chance tonight. I'm gonna win the Royal Rumble. Torrie, would you mind opening your box for me. [Torrie opens the bin and Triple H reaches in to draw a number. He pulls out a ball, Candice taps it with her wand.] Would you hold my ball? [Candice takes the empty ball and Triple H unfolds the paper containing the number] Kid, read 'em and weep.

[laughing] Whoa, bro. Reality? Let me tell you what your reality is—you're screwed. You are screwed, man; tough luck. I'll see you out there...or maybe not.

Mickie James is obsessed with Trish. She's her #1 fan, she's obsessed with Trish, and time and time again she's attacked Ashley just because...well, for no reason, quite frankly. Just because when anyone gets near Trish, Mickie James goes crazy.

Well, who wouldn't go crazy when you get near Trish?

Oh, you know what I mean.

I would love to be that striped shirt that Trish is wearing. Can you imagine being that close to Trish?

I can usually read a woman like a book—I prefer the Braille edition—but Mickie James, I can't get a read on her at all.

Rey Mysterio drew #2, looked up in the skies, the heavens, and said, "Eddie, you got me." Maybe Eddie just wanted to watch Rey for a long time tonight.

And this is a damn shame that Triple H had to end Rey Mysterio's hopes this way.

Well, this just shows you how...

Orton parading around with Mysterio. [Mysterio grasps the top rope] And Rey! Rey hanging on to the top rope!

Rey hanging on for dear life here. [Suddenly Rey turns around, puts his legs between Orton's head...] Whoa, whoa!

And Mysterio! [...and does a hurricanrana, throwing Orton out and winning the Rumble] HE DID IT! HE DID IT! HE DID IT! HE DID IT!

No way!

REY MYSTERIO DID IT!

Here is your winner: Rey Mysterio!

REY MYSTERIO IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!

Latino Heat is alive and well! Look at this!

Rey Mysterio dedicated this match-up to Eddie Guerrero, he went for over an hour with the Eddie Guerrero logo on his wrestling tights, and Rey Mysterio has won the 2006 Royal Rumble match!

Well, without a doubt the biggest win in Rey Mysterio's career, but it could lead to an even bigger win at WrestleMania.

Was that a scream of joy from Melina?

I haven't made a lot of women scream, so I can't tell you.

It's been well-documented, JBL, that when Mr. Kennedy can target a body part, he will be relentless and rabid on the assault throughout the match-up, and that's what he's doing here.

Just what I said. Just exactly what I said! I'm sitting out here with a damn parrot!

Somebody call the San Antonio sheriff because Kennedy was robbed tonight!

Kennedy wasn't robbed. He was beaten by a game champion, by the World Heavyweight Champion, the Animal Batista.

No, he was beaten 'cause Nick Patrick had his head up his ass and laid down...ignored a World Championship count!

I guess you didn't see the low blow.

I saw the low blow! So what? You get hit in the mouth, you get hit low, that's what happens in World Championships! Kennedy, after a year of beating six World Champions, had a shot with the lights on bright, he danced his ass off, and he deserves to be walking out with that gold right now, going to WrestleMania!

The hard thing about the Rumble—and you know this, King—is you're out there, you're tired, you're trying to eliminate people, and all of the sudden, someone fresh comes out there and comes after you.

You guys know all about, being well, in Rumbles for a long time. JBL, you lasted 40 minutes in one Rumble; King, you lasted over 36 minutes in another.

Yeah, but I hid for 30 minutes under the ring.

Well, you stole the punchline from JBL.

[on CM Punk] They say he doesn't drink, he doesn't do drugs; I call that boring, But that's okay, he's real talented.

But he's a hell of an athlete...

He's a great athlete. Obviously doesn't have much of a social life.

King Booker claiming he never got his one-on-one rematch with Batista...

"Claiming"?! He never got his one-on-one rematch! That guy right there got robbed of the World Championship. He should be the one fighting Batista, not having to come out here in the Royal Rumble, but what he has the opportunity to do—[as Booker eliminates Gregory Helms] Goodbye, Gregory Helms, see you later!—what he has the opportunity to do is add one more accolade to a Hall of Fame career!

And the Hardys, who have a long history with Edge, going to work on Rated-RKO.

Well, they stole all their girlfriends.