Royal Rumble Season 1 quotes

You know, McMahon, I'm getting tired of your barbs tonight, and I'm tired of you getting down on me, and if you don't knock it off, you're gonna hear from Barry Bloom.

Who?

You know who.

[on #13,Hacksaw Jim Duggan] What's he gonna come in and beat everybody with a 2x4?

How does he get the Gang over the top? That is the question, McMahon. The Gang weighs somewhere between 450-500 pounds—how is Duggan gonna get him over the top rope?

Obviously, he'd have to do what I believe, in some sort of fashion, the Gang's momentum is heading into the rope, and with the Gang going into the rope, Duggan can get underneath, he'll go.

There might be another way too, if he can find the 2x4.

Why's that?

Well, he could hit the Gang with the 2x4. That would be the only equalizer I could see.

Then again, the Hacksaw himself, somewhere around the 285 pound mark...[One Man Gang charges Duggan, who pulls the top rope down. His action sends the Gang over the top rope and onto the floor, winning Duggan the Rumble] Oh yes! That's it!

He pulled the top rope down! I can't believe it. Out of all the people to win this thing, it's him?

What a smart thing to do. Hacksaw Jim Duggan drops the top rope on the One Man Gang!

I can't believe he actually did it.

The winner of the Royal Rumble: Hacksaw Jim Duggan!

You know, with the brain power that Duggan's got, I'll bet you he tripped and fell and the Gang toppled over.

It's time for the Million Dollar Man to pick the Million Dollar number. [Draws his number out of the cage.] And the winning number is... [Virgil opens up the number and reveals it to DiBiase.] Wait a minute...[brings in Slick] Uh, Slick, Slick. When you drew numbers for your men, how did it go?

[laughs] Brother! It was unbelievable!

We should talk.

Look at how the Boss Man is manhandling Hogan.

Yeah but he just got in the ring. The Hulkster's been in the ring for a half hour.

No he wasn't! He was in there five minutes ago!

Hulk still creating mayhem for the Big Boss Man.

Now, that's illegal! Hogan was eliminated!

Yes, he is, Jesse. So what?

"So what"? If they'd have done that to Hogan, Monsoon, you'd have been totally irate!

And this is what Hulkamania is all about. Going out there and flagarantly cheating. Not leaving the ring when you're eliminated. Causing someone else to be eliminated when you have no business out there.

Are you condoning what the Big Boss Man did; what he and the Slickster did to the Hulkster?

That was weeks ago. I'm talking here and now, Monsoon.

Sorry, you could only go back to the last couple of minutes then, or what happened yesterday.

Hey, yesterday's gone. It's today that counts.

[seeing Virgil outside the ring after DiBiase has entered] Hey, he's not supposed to be out there!

Well who knows, Virgil could be number 31.

I'll tell you something though, Gorilla. As bad as it looks for the Million Dollar Man right now, don't count him out yet.

Why, because Virgil's still out there?

No, because he's a darn good wrestler.

Oh, there he goes! [Virgil jumps in and attacks Studd] Look out, Virgil from behind. [Studd turns around and fights him throughout] Big John just turned around and faced him, didn't even acknowledge those shots he got. Virgil is indeed in trouble. Just like a rag doll. You're talking about 280 pounds of man there.

This is definitely a little bit of an added attraction, isn't it?

The Royal Rumble is over, John Studd is the winner; he's just having...this is some creme on the cake, Jess.

Well, I got to admit, Virgil kind of brought it on himself. But you got to respect Virgil, he's a paid bodyguard and he came in and tried to do his job.

There goes the 31st man.

Here is your winner of the Royal Rumble: Big John Studd!

Not even Mickey and Goofy could get in here and I made sure of that. They didn't have tickets. Do you have a ticket, Schiavone?

No I don't. I... what are you insinuating?

Then what are you doing here?

I just wanted to sit beside you if that's okay.

Last year, allegedly, Ted DiBiase, you drew #30, which would be advantageous...

"Allegedly"? Allegedly? No. Last year, little man, I drew #30!

Well some suspected there might've been a little chicanery, but certainly that wouldn't happen this year, with all the added security of World Wrestling Federation president Jack Tunney, you're not gonna be buying...

Security? You call that security? I call it downright gestapolism [sic]. I didn't even have the opportunity to draw my own number!

Wait a minute, Ted DiBiase, you asked Virgil to draw the number for you.

I didn't ask Virgil to draw the number!

Well, of course you did!

Virgil, did I ask you to draw the number! No! Shut up, don't say anything! You made a mistake, I...I can't believe this!

Wait a minute, what number did you draw?

None of your business what number I...

We're gonna find out sooner or later, where's the number? (DiBiase hands him the number) Oh, you couldn't have gotten a worse draw. This is #1—the worst number of the lot!

Let me tell you something, little man. It doesn't matter whether #1, #2, or #30. What it means is I'll be the first man in the ring, I'll be the last man in the ring, and it's a golden opportunity for me to show all you 9-to-5 nickel-and-dimers out there that I'm the greatest wrestling talent in the world. I'll be there to the end, and I'll win it!

I remember not too long ago on Saturday Night's Main Event, the Genius upset the Champion Hulk Hogan!

He did?

Yeah. Schiavone, who won the match?

Yeah but Perfect was on the outside with the belt. We all know what happened.

No yeah buts! Who won the match?

The Genius.

Hair grows back, but, Beefcake, your ribs, they may not grow back the right way.

That was totally uncalled for! To the Royal Rumble—I'm sure you're gonna have to deal with the likes of Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake later on. Thirty of the greatest...what was the number, by the way, that you drew?

I drew the perfect number, and everybody knows the "perfect number" in the Royal Rumble is #30. And you bet I choose #30! I pulled it right out! And I'm gonna tell you something right now, as I'm standing here, the Royal Rumble is gonna be just like everything else I've done in my life—absolutely perfect.

It never ceases to amaze me, what the human mind can come up with. I mean, you think of the whole concept. The Royal Rumble, this afternoon you're gonna take thirty men, and every two minutes you're gonna send somebody to that ring—a fresh man. So you're thinking to yourself, well what number might be the best? Well, the last number would be the best, but that doesn't really mean anything, cause there's still gonna be a lot of hungry men out there, and hopefully I'll be one of those hungry men. The man that wins this match is not gonna be the man that's the best wrestler, the best athlete; it's gonna be the man that will do anything, the man that will...take that extra step, do just a little bit more than anybody else, maybe sacrifice a little bit more than anybody else. Now, me—that sounds just a lot like me.

Here's the countdown...who will be next in the Royal Rumble?

Uh-oh! It's André the Giant! The first member of Heenan family makes his appearance, André the Giant, The 8th Wonder Of The World.