Regular Show · Season 1
[walks upstairs] Rigby, you know this is a walk-in closet now.
I know.
I brought some tissues.
I'm not crying.
Oh, good. [sits down next to him]
[sighs] Why does Dad still have to be such a jerk all the time? It's just, neither me or Eileen went to prom, and I want to make it special.
Hmm… All right. I'll make you a deal. [gives Rigby the keys to Sherm's car, but on one condition…] No scratches, and I'm involved.
[happily] Thanks, Mom.
You show that girl a good time. [leaves]
I will, Mom.
[Rigby pulls up at Eileen's house in his dad's car, knocks on the door and Eileen answers it, in her prom dress]
[as Rigby puts her prom corsage on her arm] Wow! Hydrangea macrophylia, my favorite! [surprised as she sees Sherm's car] Whoa. Who lent you that thing?
My dad. Pretty cool, right?
Wow. That was nice of him. Let's go crazy like teens!
But not too crazy, you know, 'cause of my dad's car.
[puzzled and confused] Hmm?
[trying to fix the tiny T.V.; groaning sulkily] Darn tiny T.V.! Can't fix it. Why can't you be more like your brother, the big T.V. downstairs?
Sherm, I can't help but hear some metaphors in your insane ranting.
Barb, you're killing me with this psycho babble.
[As Rigby and Eileen drive to Lookout Mountain in Sherm's car…]
Are you okay? It looks like you're stewing. Rigby, please tell me what you're stewing about.
My dad didn't loan me the car.
What? You didn't… steal it, did you?
No, my mom gave me the keys. But it's my dad, you know? He doesn't trust me with anything. I was hoping he'd finally be ready to see me as a real person. [raises his hand and lowers it with each category he says about Sherm] It's always Don, car, everything else, me.
I know how you feel. My mom can get pushy, too, but she still cares. I'm sure your dad cares, too. There's no way this is more important to him than your happiness.
Do you ever look out at the night sky and think about how each one of those stars represents the infinite possibilities of our lives?
Why, yes, Tony, I do.
Shove it, Tony! [laughs; to Rigby] Yo, Rigby, sweet wheels. They yours, bro?
Bye, Rigby.
Uh, good luck, man.
Rigby… Oh, ho, ho, ho, Rigby. [to Eileen in the rear-view mirror] Eileen, close your ears. [Eileen puts on a pair of earmuffs; ratting out to Rigby, angrily, while driving down the mountain] I always knew you were a liar and a loser, but I never thought you'd be a thief! I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Seems like every day you find some new way to mess up our lives. And now, you found someone new to mess up their lives, too!
[having to have heard that; sharply] What?!
You heard me!
LOOK OUT!
[removing the earmuffs from her head] I'm just gonna go ahead and take these off now.
Dad, I do stuff like this all the time. Just let me help!
Of course you do stuff like this all the time! It's, uh… Uh… It's your fault we're here in the first place!
Dad, stop! It doesn't matter if I ever get a big job or my G.E.D. You're still never gonna trust me, and that's on you! You're so focused on your car, you never noticed me growing up! Also, it's totally your fault 'cause you were the one driving and you weren't watching the road! Now, give me the wheel!
No, it's my car! You'll crash it!
Give it!
Eileen, you too?
I'm doing this for your own good, sir!
[as Eileen pulls him away from the driver's seat] NO!
Thanks, Eileen. [puts his seatbelt on and takes the wheel] I promise I won't mess this up.
Eileen, did you have a good time?
Oh, Rigby! That was the best and only prom I've ever been to! [happily hugs him]
[doubtfully proud] What you did back there was really impressive, Rigby. I mean, it showed initiative. Maybe you have changed. So, uh… [shrugs] I guess you can borrow the car whenever you want.
Thanks, Dad. Though, I probably should get a driver's license first.
What are you guys-?
We did it! We survived the earthquake!
Yeah-yuh!
OUTSIDE, NOW!!!!!!!
What the? Nobody’s guarding it? Mordecai and Rigby!
Marvolo the Wizard. A powerful dragon hath decsended upon us, and only ye can stop it.
Oh, you must be the mad king.
Look, Marvolo, if you don't slay the dragon right now, the commoners will demand refunds, and my Kingdome shall crumble!
For the last time, stop calling me Marvolo!
He's waking up.
King Edmund? Barnaby? Rignatius and Mordicus?
No, Pops, it's us. Everything is back to normal. The Park broke even and all is well.
What if she doesn't like spicy? I'll take half spicy.
[annoyed] They're just wings, buddy.
[turns around; annoyingly triggered] "Just wings?" These wings might decide whether or not I get to go out with the girl of my dreams! [turns red; furiously shouting] Everything has to be perfect!
[fearfully] Mommy, I'm scared.
Oh, boy. [Dr. Langer shows the last image of the two and the DTV splashing in the mud of the scientists. The duo laugh at the photo] Can it! [back to Dr. Langer] l Am so sorry for this, Dr. Langer.
The DTVs are meant of scientific research. They've could have ruined weeks of data! There was a line there, and you two are crossed it. That's why l'm enacting an 24 - hour lockdown.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Regular Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
