Whoa... Time to take this baby for a test drive. (screams and lands outside)
(Rigby looks around, and sees Muscle Man rolling a wheelbarrow with Hi Five Ghost behind him.)
(screams and runs up to them, and throws out his punch beam at them. It hits Muscle Man and Hi Five so hard it sends them flying)
(hits walls, cracking it) Oh no, bro!
(Screen shows Pops flying a kite)
(Rigby runs up and throws a punch beam at Pops, sending him flying into the sun)
WOOOAAAAAOOOOAOAAAOOOAH! (flies toward the sun)
(Skips is fixing a lawnmover. Rigby comes up and punches Skips. Skips breaks through the shed and skids the grass, knocking over a trash can, a tree, a lamp post, a bench, and another lamp post.)
Why yes, sir. I have the Death Jump & the Death Dump right he- (Sees that the Death Jump & the Death Dump techniques were taken away) NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
(Cuts to the ruined park)
VGVideo Game
D-d-d-d-d Dig Champs!
Aw yes! It's finally happening!
Yep, for once being a huge baby actually worked out for you.
(Chuckles) Dude, just hurry up and play. You're just gonna die right at the beginning anyway.
(Mimics Mordecai) Hmph! I'll show you.
(Rigby plays the game, but dies by touching a snail)
Aw what!? Snails are bad? I thought snails were good!
Aw man! This sucks. I wanna be player 2.
There's that chocolate cake at the snack bar!
Yeah...but Benson will only let you have it for free if it's your birthday.
Who's to say it's not my birthday?
...Who's to say it's not my birthday?
MRMordecai and Rigby
FREE CAKE! FREE CAKE!!
It's neither of your birthdays.
Aw, man! He's killing us with that.
MRMordecai and Rigby
No cake....no cake....
{appears from inside the bushes} But it is Skips' birthday!
MRMordecai and Rigby
FREE CAKE! FREE CAKE!!
But he's really private about it.
MRMordecai and Rigby
No cake....no cake....
Come to think of it, I don't think we've ever had a party for Skips.
[Benson comes into the room, looking angry]
What are you doing with my sandwich?!
Don't worry. I'll take care of this with my specialty. This isn't your sandwich. This is our sandwich.
This is your sandwich, huh? Then how come it says "Benson" on the BAG?!
Huh? It's supposed to say "Rigby," but they misspelled my name wrong.
[angrily screams at Mordecai and Rigby] STOP LYING!
Dude, I thought you said you bought this!
No, he didn't buy it! Now, get off your lazy butts and go get me another GRILLED CHEESE DELUXE!!! [ He slams the door furiously]
[groans] Aaaagh! You ruined our day off!
Ah, don’t worry, dude. The line won’t be that long.
[Cut to Cheezer's, where there is a long line.]
[Jones and Barry throw Mordecai and Rigby out of their van]
JJones
(angrily threatens Mordecai and Rigby) If you ever lie about being astronauts again, YOU’RE DEAD!!!
We saved the city, astro!-- (The astronauts throw the Cheezer's bag at Rigby and they drive away in their van.)
Where have you been? I’ve been waiting all day! (Mordecai gives Benson his burnt Grilled Cheese Deluxe) What the--What happened to my sandwich?!
[rambling] There were spacemen...at Cheezers...and the two...we went down it...everyone wore sweatpants...even us...and then the room with the bad stuff...but...we saved the city with your sandwich.
[sighs] Why do you always have to lie to my face?
We ran it over by accident.
See? Was it so hard to tell the truth?
Dude, these guys aren't trying to help me. They're just messing with me.
Dude, they're just partying.
How is this supposed to help me get the ladies?
(We see a long-haired man with an open green shirt on a chair in the corner. He has stubble on his chin, a necklace, wristbands, blue jeans, and cowboy boots)
That's not a lady. (approaches Billy, who's drinking soda with the 2nd Unicorn. He puts his hand on Billy's shoulder) Hey, I thought you were gonna help me with Margaret.
BBilly
(angrily) Something's touching me! (elbows Mordecai, who flies onto the floor. The unicorns laugh)
Hey, bros, check this out. (approaches Mordecai) Here, let me help you up. (He pulls his hand away at the last second) PSYCH! Why don't you ask Margaret to help you up? OHHHHH!
(The unicorns and Rigby laugh)
(angrily) You know what, Rigby? Have fun with your new friends, you jerk! Oh, and just so you know, when Benson finds out about your friends and their little hangout time, he's probably gonna fire you. Later, bro! [leaves]
(worriedly) Mordecai, wait! (the door shuts off-screen)
JJimmy
(from upstairs) Bros! I found a trampoline!
No! (runs up to his room) What are you doing to my bed?!
JJimmy
You sleep on this, bro?
JJimmy
Right after this somersault! (flips in mid air and his horn rips the trampoline, falling to the floor. Rigby gasps) Bros, this trampoline's all over me! Help me get it off!
(The unicorns run in, chanting 'bros', and in a matter of seconds, reduce the trampoline to torn fabric and twisted metal)
(Billy and 3rd Unicorn are shown by the closet door)
BBilly
Hey, bro. You know this nerd?
(They open the closet door to show Benson, bound, gagged, and suspended from a coat hook. Benson rages from behind his gag, but his words are unintelligible)
BBilly
Check this out. (gets some gumballs out of Benson and eats them) What's the matter, Rigbone? You like that nerd or something?
3U3rd Unicorn
(taps Rigby's shoulder) Yeah, dude. Chill out! And have a DRINK! (sprays him with a soda can, temporarily blinding Rigby)
(In his confusion, Rigby stumbles between the unicorns, who have formed a circle with the intention of repeatedly farting in his face)
You guys know what to do, right?
MRMordecai and Rigby
Yeah.
(to the unicorns) Hey, Rigby, weren't we supposed to race some unicorns and not a bunch of losers?!
UUnicorns
(Shouting all at once) BROS!! BROS!! BROS!!
UUnicorns
(Chanting "Bros")
(The unicorns race off into the distance while chanting "Bros")
This is how you get rid of unicorns.
(Skips presses a button that forms a ramp on the ground, shooting the unicorns up into the sky, still chanting "Bros")
But what if they come back?
They ain't coming back. (presses button)
(The unicorns and their car explode, leaving behind stars and sparkles)
MRMordecai and Rigby
Cooooooool!
That's the only way to get rid of unicorns.
(Scene cuts to daytime, with a close-up of a hand turning a valve and Water is shown flying from a hose. Benson is hosing down Mordecai and Rigby, who are screaming after getting soaked)
(furiously) I can't believe you idiots let those unicorns in here! You two morons had better get this mess cleaned up, or you'll wish it was YOU DRIVING THAT CAR!
The unicorn one? (Benson sprays Rigby with the hose and Rigby falls over screaming) COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!!!!
(Mordecai screams, shaking in fear)
Quit spraying that cologne! It's not gonna get you any ladies! Idiots... [walks away]
