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Red vs Blue · Season 5

“Yellow Fever (Episode 85)” quotes from Red vs Blue

8 quotes

“Yellow Fever (Episode 85)” · Season 5

In this episode: Leonard Church (6), Grif (4), Tucker (4), Sister (4), Simmons (2), Doc (1), Sheila (1)

Oh, my God, what's wrong with you? Why didn't you tell us you were a Blue?

Because -

And don't say because nobody asked!

But nobody did ask!

God damn it.

So what if she is a blue? We'll still keep her.

We can't do that! She's on the other team, she'll kill us in our sleep if we keep her!

Do I get to do that? 'Cause that would be awesome!

No she wouldn't! Besides, she's color blind! We'll just tell her we're blues!

Uh, hello? We already told her we're red. Idiot.

Yeah? Well she's fucking dumb, too. Hey, we're blue now.

Woo-hoo! Go Blue! Let's win!

See?

Yeah, this is bullshit.

Ask for something else.

Uh, we want something else!

What? I'm releasing a hostage! You don't negotiate up from there!

Got any money?

Fuck you, dude! [turns to his sister] Get going. Call me if you have any problems. And don't go near any reds from now on. I'll try to keep our team distracted so they won't attack you. Whatever you do, don't embarrass the family. Think of mom.

Don't do me any favors, bitch.

What else was on the ship?

What do you mean?

Y'know like guns or weapons...

Or snacks! [To Church] Dude I'm just asking 'cause I know you want it too.

Nope, just the girl! Sorry, there weren't any more aliens for you guys to fuck!

That's okay, we can still fuck this one!

Woo-hoo!

God damn it! Never mind, just send her back!

No take backs!

Oh, what the fuck?!

[runs up] Oh my God, Grif, he's gone!

Who's gone?

Sarge, he's missing! I dug up his grave and he's not in there!

What? Did you dig in the right spot?

Oh, you're right. Maybe I dug up one of the other fresh graves that we just made. I didn't fucking think of that!

Oh, calm down.

Don't tell me to be calm, we're down two men now! Well, at least we still have the blue prisoner we can use as leverage. Hey, what are you doing out here in the middle of the canyon?

Uh, nothing. So, that Sarge thing's pretty crazy.

Hey, is that your sister over there with the blues? [as Grif slowly leaves] What's she doing over there? Why are they all high fiving? Are they making a cheerleading pyramid? Wow, they're really tossing her high in the air. Grif? Grif? Hey where'd he go?

Dude, I've had about all the cross-species babies I can take for a while. The last thing I need is a junior Caboose running around with a 130 millimeter cannon for a head. Your little devil spawn is enough for me.

Don't talk about my kid like that!

What's your deal?

I don't know, I think I'm kind of getting into this whole parenting thing. I caught myself looking at minivans the other day. [shudders] Ugh!

Yeah, okay. You're a Blue.

Touchdown! Woo-hoo! Go Blue!

No, I mean we're Red, but you're Blue. That means you gotta get out of here before Simmons digs up Sarge.

I love digging. I wanna help!

No, you're leaving.

Where am I going?

The other base.

The Red base?

No, the Blue base.

We have two bases? Awesome!

Move!

Oh, what, the Reds are giving us prisoners now? Dude, that sounds like bullshit, I smell a trap.

Reds aren't that smart.

Okay, normally I would agree with that, but this is the orange one, he's pretty crafty. He's a lot like me.

Like you? Shit. Then do I have time to put in my earplugs and hide all our food?

Up yours, dickhead.

I know. I figure Doc's mechanic skills are probably about as bad as his first aid skills. He's either gonna fix her by accident, or make her completely inoperable, and then I can go down there and figure out what's really goin' on. Either way, I win. Oh, he might also get blown up by her, that's also good.

[talking to Sheila the tank] Yeah, maybe yoga lessons weren't such a good idea after all. Let's try some deep breathing. In through the air filter, out through the manifold. In through the air filter, out through the manifold. [Shelia points her turret at his head] Okay, why don't we try some aversion therapy? Think about something that makes you really angry that isn't me.

Sure. [aims across the gulch, straight at Church far away who sees her taking aim at him throught the sniper rifle]

Uhhh, yeah... I don't feel as good about my plan as I used to.

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