What took you guys so long to get here?
There's six of us, and this is only a three seater jeep. Half of us had to sit on someone else's lap.
(excitedly) It was a great road trip. My favourite part was when Grif tried to change gears, and he accidentally-
(sighing) Please, let's not tell the story. Is there somewhere I can wash my hands?
[Tex is explaining O'Malley's fortress on the beach]
He's been fortifying his defenses for a few days now, and he's got some help. One of those religious nuts you guys picked up.
Oh! I like them! They were funny.
Caboose, they tried to kill you because of a flag.
I try not to remember the bad things about people.
That's all they tried to do! There were no good things!
That's okay, I have a really bad memory- WOW! LOOK, A BEACH!
Shut up, Caboose.
I've scouted a location inside the base where we can set it off and take the whole place down. I marked the spot with a big X.
You scouted it.
Yeah.
If you got past the two walls, the huge spinning blade, the gun turrets, and made it all the way in to the fortress, why didn't you just plant the bomb then instead of putting a big X on the floor?
(hesitantly) ...I can't carry it.
What?
What was that?
It's too heavy, okay?! You happy?!
Yeah, kinda.
I need one of you idiots to carry it. I don't have the upper body strength to move it on my own.
See, girls act like they're so tough, but the first time they need someone to move a couch, who do they call? [Tex stares daggers at Grif.] Please don't kill me.
Ah; go ahead and kill him, we can use his armor for spare parts. Here, this thing dosen't look so heavy. Look at the... (tries to lift the bomb) Whoa! That thing's not moving!
I can carry it.
I guarantee you'll need two people.
No, it's true, he has crazy strength. Church and I think it's God's way of compensating.
(picks up bomb) See.
Great Paul Bunyan! He's like an ox!
But I have no horns... or lumberjack friends.
Come on, no way it can be that bad. Let me give it an... ah! (Caboose drops the bomb in Grif's hands and Grif falls to the ground) (Grif hands the bomb back to Caboose) Here you go, you can carry it.
She'll do anything for money.
That's not true.
It's not? I'll give you ten bucks to tear off Grif's arm.
(eagerly) Which one's Grif?
See? She's not even really on the Blue Team. She was just paid to come and help us.
(motioning towards Simmons and whispering) He's Grif.
Have her do this for you, and then you guys owe her a favor. That's how these freelancers get stuff done, right?
That'll work. I'll help you, and then the two of you have to do something for me.
Okay, we'll do it.
Wait just a second. What would we have to do?
It all depends.
Depends on what.
On...what I need...to do some future job.
But, it could be anything.
That's right, anything.
.........Like gay stuff?
...I have no idea.
...Well, can we rule out the gay stuff?
Hey, how come I never get to help?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Red vs Blue pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
