OK, listen up dirtbags. If we’re gonna invade this fortress, we need a good game plan. I’ve got two options we can use. Number one, we all run straight at the base in a single file line, screaming at the top of our lungs. [scene goes black and white and shows everyone running in slow motion toward windmill while yelling]. The enemy will be so flabbergasted, by the time they have a chance to regroup, we’ll already be inside.
Oh yeah, right, they’re not gonna get surprised, they’re just gonna start mowing us down.
That’s the inherent beauty of the single file line. They can only kill the person in front, [scene goes black and white and shows them all in a line being shot with a sniper rifle], so if we order from least important to most important, with Tucker being in the front and me being in the back, then we just might make it through.
Don’t you think Caboose should be in the back since he’s the one carrying the bomb?
Nope, Caboose is in front of me. We need someone in the back who can objectively evaluate how the plan is working.
How are you going to know if it’s not working?
If Caboose dies, I’ll know we’re in trouble and immediately abort.
I think that’s a good plan.
Sarge, while that’s the most retarded idea I’ve ever heard, I just wanted to thank you for not putting me in front of the line.
Don’t get misty, Francine. We’ll have already killed you and used your corpse to jam up the windmill.
[shows windmill rotating upward with Grif’s body on it]
Grif: Blaaargh!.
I think we can all agree given our current situation it’s the perfect plan.
[everyone stares at him silently]
Well let me tell you about my other plan, using parts from the warthog we create something I like to call ... the Grif Cannon. Utilizing the power of the Grif Cannon, we make a Grif sized hole in the outer wall, or paint it a very disgusting color.