Princess Bonjella? Ace Rimmer. There'll be time for explanations later and, hopefully, some sex.
Stoke Me a Clipper
Are you my faithful man servant or what?
I'm ashamed to be with you sir. I haven't been this embarrassed since I was loosening my adjustment screws, and my entire groinal box dropped into Mr Rimmer's soup.
A(New)Ace
Stoke me a clipper, I'll be back for Christmas.
Rimmer, don't take this the wrong way, but how could you be the next Ace? I mean, you're a gutless, spineless, gormless, directionless, neurotic, underachieving, snivelling, cowardly pile of smeg. No offence. But, get real, man. Most eunuchs have got more balls than you.
AMAR medieval King
Good Knight, bring me this knave's head on a silver platter.
LLister (of Smeg)
Hey, steady!
AMAR medieval King
Then disembowel him and feed his innards to the crows.
LLister (of Smeg)
This is worse than playing away at Leeds.
Ouroboros
[to Lister] It's an obscene phone call, sir. I think it's for you.
Rimmer?
Yes, ma'am?
Have sex with someone, and that's an order.
Yes, ma'am. Right away, ma'am.
[Hands him a card] Here, phone this number. Say I sent ya. Tell her it's an emergency.
[to Lister] We've lost sight of Miss Kochanski's ship, sir. And we're fast running out of time.
Yeah, it's good, isn't it?
No sir, I don't believe it is.
Why? Don't you like her?
I'm a mere mechanoid, sir. It's hardly my place to point out what a bossy old trollop she is.
I'm going to end up on my own again, just like I did on the Nova 5.
You killed the crew, Kryten! No wonder you were left on your own! All right, it was an accident, but nonetheless!
But what about before that? It was the same on the SS Augustus!
Well, they died of old age!
You see?
You're not good enough for him. That's all. OK, he may walk around smelling like a Balti House laundry basket, but he doesn't need the likes of you swapping dimensions like there's no tomorrow and bewitching him with your... in and out bits. Pointy and unnecessary.
You've got big problems, you know that?
Duct Soup
To pee or not to pee, that is the question.
How did I end up like this, on a ship where the fourth most popular pastime is going down to the laundry room and watching my knickers spin dry?
One more time.. And you get this, d'you hear? Don't think I don't mean it. One more time, just one more..
What did I tell you, I told you.. Didn't I tell you? How many times have I told you? Right... What was the last one? Nureek, so the next one will be a Rutut, then the one after that will be a Hununger.. Four Seconds, Three Seconds Two Seconds...
Now Hununger.
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