[On television monitor] Hey, bud! It's me! How you doing with that shirt?
[On television monitor] My ass is freezing here! I got six nipples you can hang mugs on!
The television monitor turns off and quickly back on showing Rimmer in a corridor.
[On television monitor] Kryten, I'm on B-deck, and it doesn't appear to have been mopped in at least two days. I can hardly see my face in it!
[Whispering to himself] A blessing, some would say. [Now speaking directly] I'm on it right now, sir.
The television monitor turns off and quickly back on showing Lister lying on a couch.
[On television monitor] Kryten, when you get a chance, could you grab us a beer?
Camera reveals Kryten and Lister in the same room.
Sir, I'm rather busy right now! Could you possibly get it yourself?
Lister leans over and takes out a beer from the mini-fridge right next to him.
The black-clad mechanoids take Lister, Rimmer, and Cat away.
WWind
[Speaking to Kryten] Not you, my friend.
My crewmates, where are you taking them?
WWind
To face justice. We are the Mechanoid Intergalactic Liberation Front.
The Kryten-ifyed Lister, Rimmer, and Cat, after dismantling each other to get through the locked gate, finish reassembling and head-off.
KLKryten Lister
Come on, let's go!
Kryten Rimmer pushes the nearby alarm button alerting their escape.
KLKryten Lister
What are you doing?!
KRKryten Rimmer
I'm sounding the alarm.
KLKryten Lister
Change my head and call me Stanley! Whatever for?
KRKryten Rimmer
I like being a mechanoid. I don't have to become an officer anymore, compete with my brothers. Envy, ambition, that acid ball of resentment I carried around with me the whole time; it's gone.
KLKryten Lister
You need to get your neuroses back!
KRKryten Rimmer
But sir, I don't want them back.
KLKryten Lister
They're what makes you, you!
KRKryten Rimmer
I want to be a mechanoid programmed to serve. Sometimes, when I was young, I'd sit for hours staring at our fish tank feeling envious.
KCKryten Cat
You wanted to be a fish tank?!
KRKryten Rimmer
I wanted to be a fish. They had food, a small rock to swim in and out of, they didn't have a care in the world.
KCKryten Cat
That's 'cause I wasn't there!
The MILFs are preparing to inaugurate Kryten as an official member of their alliance.
I pledge my allegiance to the Mechanoid Intergalactic Liberation Front!
Kryten is given a black beret by Wind.
WWind
From this day forth, you shall be known as -
Kryten Lister runs in.
KLKryten Lister
Kryten! What are you doing?!
Well, I'm becoming free, sir. I mean, I'm becoming free of you over there! I see now that you never cared for me. I was merely used to do your bidding! Well, no more! As I'm no longer your slave bot!
KLKryten Lister
Kryten, don't you see? You've been brainwashed. You were never a slave bot!
KLKryten Lister
Lots of things! You were our science officer, our cook, my mum, and most of all, my friend. And you were all those things because you chose to be, Kryten. Not 'cause we made you. Kryten, you're no MILF! You're one of the boys from the Dwarf! [Kryten Lister does the Boys from the Dwarf gang signal, but with only one hand due to the other being cut off earlier]
Several other MILFs led by Areto, including Kryten Rimmer and Kryten Cat now completely brainwashed, march into the room.
AAreto
There he is! Seize him!
KLKryten Lister
They keep mech slaves in the engine room! They power the ship. They're hypocrites!
Kryten turns to Wind with a shocked expression.
WWind
Someone has to do the grunt work! Surely you're not suggesting Mk. 3s should do it.
KLKryten Lister
Mk. 3s! Mk. 2s! You're all the same!
WWind
We're 7.6 millimetres thinner. 10 grams lighter. Plus we come in this really cool matte finish.
AMAll MILF soldiers
So cool!
