Moonbase coming up on our starboard side, what is this place Krytes?
Mmh, according to the ident, it's a United America scientific research station.
United America? Who's that?
Well, at the end of the 23rd century, America attempted to bring peace to the world by asking every nation on Earth to sign a peace treaty. Any nation that refused, they invaded. Now, a war ensued that was called, 'The War Against War'! Those countries that went to war, because they were so against war that they were prepared to go to war to fight in a war against war, called themselves, United America!
This evil cure Kryten, any idea on who they tested it on?
You think there might be wall-to-wall crazies in here? Running around rioting, screaming, and stabbing people?
You make it sound like my old school!
I want all the bazookoids, safetys off, ready to fire.
All the bazookoids are back on Red Dwarf, sir.
[Sighing] Have we got any guns with us?
Just your staple gun, sir.
Dramatic zoom in on Rimmer.
H Hitler
It's because I'm Hitler, isn't it?
Ah! So you can't go anywhere, without us!
T Professor Telford
I only need one of you, [Aims gun at the crew] the rest of you are going to die! [To Cat] You!
T Professor Telford
You have no loyalty to them, a Cat has no fidelity to anyone but himself. Join me!
I don't care what the damn scan says, we're the Posse! [Begins to perform the 'Boys from the Dwarf' gang signal, with Kryten, Rimmer, and Cat following] Boys from the Dwarf!
Noones changing sides here!
PT Profressor Telford
[To Cat] I'll give you anything that you want!
Cat walks across the room and stands next to Telford.
I'll give you anything that your heart desires, plus a special secret surprise, if you join us!
[Excited] I love secret surprises!
Cat excitedly jumps across the room and stands next to the crew again.
T Professor Telford
They're not going to be giving you anything since pretty soon they'll gonna be dead! In fact let me prove it to you by killing them one-by-one!
No wait! I'm with you! But I get to do it! [Becomes stonefaced]
Cat slowly walks across the room back to Telford, who cautiously aims the gun at Cat.
T Professor Telford
Can I trust you? Can I? [Aims gun right at Cat's head] Really?
I'm a psychopath, ain't I? You and me both! What more do you need?
Telford takes out a laser pistol from his back-pocket and hands it to Cat.
Cat takes the pistol, and shoots Telford in the face killing him instantly.
CH − Previous episode Officer Rimmer CH + Next episode Siliconia
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Red Dwarf pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
