Reaper · Season 2
How'd it go with you and Kristin's dad?
He called me a clown, said I wasn't good enough to date Kristin, and attacked me with a fishing rod. I had to escape by swimming across the lake.
That's terrible, Sock.
You know, honestly, compared to other times when I met the parents, it didn't go that badly, Benji. You know, he didn't pull a gun on me, didn't try to rip off my genitals.
Sounds like he's got a soft spot for you.
Long time ago, I had hemophobia.
That ain't right. My cousin's gay.
No, no. Hemo-phobia. It's the fear of blood.
You love blood.
I know! See that's what's crazy. I just had to confront my fear, immerse myself in it. Once I did that, it was great. I loved it. Now I can bathe in it every single day.
That's...nice for you.
(talking about the contest) The loser, however, will be cast out. No financial support, no clothes, no car. Just an eternity of endless toil as one of my minions. Put quite simply, your life will be garbage.
My life is already garbage.
Then, we'll just have to find a way to make it worse.
(looking through their house window) Why is there a small Mexican lady in our kitchen?
That's my grandmother. Also, she's not Mexican.
What? You're --
Not Mexican either.
(talking about his grandmother) She would disown me.
That seems a bit much, but I do know how you Mexicans have a spicy temper.
Your pentagram is a Star of David. Mazal tov!
(reads Sam's book on Satan) 'The Devil is attracted to radishes?' What does that mean? Like sexually? Oh, that's disgusting!
[Sock's step-sister, Kristen, walks past Sam, Sock, and Ben in a bikini.]
Oh my god, she's so hot.
Smokin'.
Shut your mouth, that is my sister! I've got dibs.
Sometimes, in order to do something good, you have to do something bad first.
I want you to keep that in mind when I eventually make love to your mother.
Hey guys, check out our beer logo.
[Sam, Sock, and Ben look at their beer mascot on the side of the van.]
Our beer logo is a baby? Isn't that dumb?
It's a leprechaun.
Where's his hat?
He took it off...because it's impolite to wear his hat when he's drinking.
Why is he wearing a bib?
Okay! It's a baby, alright? It's the only thing I knew how to draw!
"They even drank all the Zimas..."
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Reaper pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
