Virginia Chance quotes from Raising Hope

Virginia

You were right, Burt. I'm sorry I didn't believe you.

Burt

That's okay. I'm almost never right. You were just playing the odds.

Burt

You know, this wouldn't be our house if we just stayed with Jimmy and Sabrina.

Virginia

No way. It's one thing to mooch off my grandmother, I'm not about to mooch off my own son. I have pride, Burt. Okay, the car wash is open. Let's go sneak a shower.

Burt

[Blindfolded] Okay, that was interesting. Moist, chewy... I don't want to say "soapy" but it had a quality to it...

Virginia

Burt, you just took a bite out of a sponge I left on the table!

Burt

Hmm... better than I would have thought.

Jimmy

I know what you did to Sabrina's casserole, and now I'm just giving you a taste of your own medicine.

Virginia

Before you do that, why don't you taste the medicine?

Jimmy

Oh, it's horrible.

Virginia

Not the juice. My casserole.

Jimmy

Oh, it's horrible! Why can't anyone cook anymore? Is it me? Maybe I went mouth-blind. Can people go mouth-blind?

Virginia

As a member of the domestic service community, normally right now I'd be giving you a long talking-to about abusing your maid, but your father might be dead.

Jimmy

Eleanor, adjust my face to express shock.

Very good, sir.

Virginia

Allow me. [slaps Jimmy across the face]

Virginia

We know what it's like to have an ungrateful child. And an uncoordinated child. And an underachieving child. But we stuck around.

Jimmy

Hey, Mom. I'm right here.

Virginia

And a child with an annoying voice.

Jimmy

You guys said, just last week, that room was still mine if if things didn't work out with Sabrina.

Sabrina

[looks at Virginia, annoyed] Really. Just last week.

Virginia

It was your anniversary, the subject came up. And to be clear, he had just told us he was getting you a box of envelopes.

Jimmy

The first anniversary is paper.