Queer as Folk (US) Season 3 quotes

Emmett

I would give my left tit-- my left arm, for a Cosmo.

You know, gay people have the same problems that we do.

Emmett

Isn't it amazing?

I have a cousin who's a lesbian.

Big deal. My brother is a tyranny.

What's that?

Some people are so ignorant aren't they?! A transsexual. Right, guys?

Yeah... yeah... that's right. A tyranny.

Michael

You can't just go around shoving people and acting all crazy!

Ben

You don't understand anything.

Michael

Understand what?

Ben

What it's like to wake up every morning and remember 'oh yeah, I've got this thing,' because you don't have this thing. You never have to take a mouthful of meds, never knowing when they'll stop working, never knowing when a fucking cough or a fucking sniffle may land you in the hospital, because to you, Michael, it is just a fucking cough or a fucking sniffle! And every time I go to kiss you, or suck you, or fuck you, even when we're protected, even then, there is still this shitty nagging doubt that maybe, just maybe you could get infected!

Ethan

Look, fans are gonna want to meet me. Women, guys, they're gonna want to talk, to flirt. They're gonna think I'm sexy.

Daphne

[holds up a block of cheese] Smell this.

Justin

[smells] Smells like some guys I've gone down on.

Daphne

That is the grossest most disgusting thing I've ever heard! Eww!

Emmett

We also know that deep down... that you care about us, even though you'd never admit it. Which is why I've--

Brian

I've already told Ted there's nothing--

Emmett

I know what you've told him. I also know what you think about Teddy and me. That we're just a couple of silly queens setting up house, it'll never work. Well, there's a time when I would have thought exactly the same thing. But miracle of miracles, I have never been happier in my entire life. And you want to know why? Because he gives me love. And respect. And now it is my turn to give him something back. I swore to myself that this wasn't going to wind up an old Lana Turner movie, but it looks like that's the direction it's headed. So I'm going to make Lana proud. Please, Brian. I am begging you. Help him.

Don't you know you're supposed to let the boss win?

Brian

Why would I do that?

Some people might say it's smart.

Brian

Yeah well, some people are stupid. Why would you trust me if I let you win?

Ben

What's Vic's new boyfriend like?

Michael

They're so alike it's uncanny.

Ben

Same interests? Same temperament?

Michael

Same disease.

Ben

Michael, please!

Michael

Please what? All it would take is a quick jab in the vein and it'd be over in a flash. Hardly feel a thing and then I'd be just like you.

Ben

I don't want you to be like me!

Michael

You said you want someone who knows what you're going through. Who wakes up every morning and suddenly remembers 'hey that's right, I've got this thing,' who thinks every time he gets a cold or the flu, 'this is it, this is the end,' who's filled with the resentment and anger 'cause he can never have kids, and who has to shoot himself up with steroids because his lover died, and he's scared shitless he's next and who has to drive away the person he loves and who loves him! Because he doesn't understand! Well, now I will!

Ben

No, please don't! For gods sake, stop!

Michael

No, you stop! Stop using this shit! Stop hurting yourself. And stop hurting us.

Justin

You're a liar!

Ethan

I didn't want to hurt you.

Justin

That is so laughably, so pathetically lame, I am not even gonna comment on it! Try something else.

Ethan

I was- I was covering my ass.

Justin

That's better. Go on.

Ethan

I was alone. You weren't there.

Justin

Now it's my fault.

Ethan

That's not what I mean. I missed you.

Justin

So, since you couldn't bare to be without me for one fucking night, you decide to pick up some drooling admirer?!

Ethan

Basically, yes.

Justin

So tell me, Mr. Gold, as a last minute replacement, how'd he do? Did he kneel at your feet and worship your huge talent? Did he marvel at your magnificent fingering, did the way you stroke your bow leave him breathless?

Ethan

It was one stupid mistake! Look how many times you forgave Brian!

Justin

I NEVER forgave Brian. I didn't have to. Because he never promised me anything. You did.

Ethan

I need you. I don't know what I'm going to do without you!

Justin

I'm sure you'll survive. After all, you still have your music. It's the only thing you ever really loved.

Emmett

Even if worse comes to worse and you have to go to jail, it won't be so bad.

Ted

How do you figure that?

Emmett

You'll have time to read, and work out. It'll be like a spa vacation.

Ted

Oh yeah, I hear the prison guard's do a great herbal body wrap, and the chef's prepare a fabulous light cuisine.

Emmett

I'll come to visit and we'll make mad passionate love.

Ted

I doubt the state pen allows gay conjugal visits.

Emmett

They did in this film I saw.

Ted

Which one was that?

Emmett

Jeff Striker Does Hard Time.