Emmett quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Ted

Anyway, it's not just for Michael and Ben. If things had been different, maybe -

Emmett

No point in beating yourself up, Teddy. We're still friends, aren't we? Which means we'll be together a lot longer than most marriages.

Emmett

[reading a map intently] I think we should have taken a left at this little squiggle here.

Ted

I thought you knew how to read a map!

Emmett

Of course I do! You go down here, take a left at 'up yours' and continue on about three miles to 'go fuck yourself'!

Ted

If it turns out we’re hopelessly lost and, for whatever reason, I don’t survive the elements, I want you to know that you have my permission to eat me.

Emmett

Thank you, Teddy. That’s the most generous thing any person ever said to another.

Debbie

Why don't you boys sit down?

Ted

Uh, thanks but we prefer to stand.

Emmett

Bum's are a little battered.

Debbie

Ah, [to Ted] well you I understand. [to Emmett] But you... you're a disgrace to nelly bottom's everywhere.

Ben

A casserole I made to take along. Millet, leeks and soy cheese.

Emmett

Are you sure you're not a lesbian?

Emmett

Most straight men take one good look at me and head for the hills. Except for my father. He ran me out on a rail.

Horvath

Well, that's his loss. You're a good man.

Brian

I haven't had this much fun with a toy since my erector set.

Emmett

My parents couldn't afford an erector set. So I decided to play with the one God gave me.

Emmett

Just call me 'the Queer Guy'!

Ted

Isn't that like calling the Pope 'the Catholic guy'?

Emmett

Are you sure you should be eating all that?

Ted

What goes in today gets sucked out tomorrow.

Emmett

Did somebody win a beauty pageant?

Debbie

Yeah Miss Fat Ass 2005.

Emmett

You and Carl going at it every night. You don't hold back, do ya?

Debbie

There's no point doing something if you're gonna do it half-assed.

Brian

Flying solo?

Emmett

Not everyone's as lucky as you to be in a... non-relationship.

Brian

[practicing] Ted you look fabulous. Ted, you look... Ted, you look fabulous. Ted, you look-

Emmett

Here he is! Here he is!

Brian

Oh my God, he really does look fabulous.

Emmett

These are my fans. They adore me.

Brian

Because you're so cute. Do you think they'd still adore you if they knew you took it up the ass? And liked it?

Emmett

How about you, Deb? Do you want me to give you a landing strip?

Debbie

Thanks, but I prefer to keep the whole airport.