Emmett quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Debbie

How was your last trick?

Emmett

Big dick... teeny brain.

Debbie

The best kind!

Emmett

Now she's living in sin.

Debbie

Or right across the hall from it.

Emmett

It's very admirable, Ted, admitting your mistakes. Everyone forgive you?

Ted

So far.

Emmett

Must make you feel better.

Ted

Can't tell you how relieved I am.

Emmett

Good for you. But what's reading this letter gonna do for me? Hmm? Will it take away all the damage that's been done? All the pain that's been inflicted? Will it make up for my feeling inadequate and helpless? Or erase all those memories of you descending into your addiction while you tried to drag me down with you? Sorry, Teddy. You'll just have to get your feel-good fix from someone else.

Debbie

I can't tell if these branches are tops or bottoms.

Emmett

You gotta ask another tree about that one.

Justin

He's never turned me down before.

Emmett

I have to admit, that doesn't sound like the Brian Kinney we all know and... feel ambivalent about.

Emmett

There was a part of me that didn't want you to recover... wanted you to be in pain. Felt like you deserved it. Pretty runty, huh?

Ted

Not really. Felt the same way myself.

Hey Drew, where'd you get those caterers?

Drew

Looks like a couple flamers to me.

Emmett

[walks up to Drew] Excuse me, Mr. Boyd? I hope I'm not out of place for saying this, actually I don't give a fuck if I am. Back in Hazelhurst, Mississippi where I grew up, I was always taught that if a real man has something to say about someone, he says it to his face, not behind his back. So even though you may be a star, you know, captain of the team, a hero to millions, you still have a lot to learn about being a man.

Emmett

Which one are you?

Drew

Number 7.

Emmett

Very graceful... in a rugged, manly way.

Drew

Why would anyone think I'm a fag?

Emmett

Maybe because you had your dick up my ass?

Emmett

You know, I absolutely hate when you do that.

Ted

Do what?

Emmett

Start to say something and then say "never mind." Then I have to spend the next ten minutes begging you to tell me what it is.

Ted

I never knew it irritated you that much. Why didn't you tell me?

Emmett

Well what good would it do? You'd just get hurt and sulk.

Ted

I do not sulk.

Emmett

And then I have to spend another ten minutes convincing you that I love you and begging you to forgive me, which you finally would, so would you please just tell me what the fuck it is so we don't have to go through the entire song and dance.

Ted

I forgot what it is I wasn't going to tell you.

Debbie

I've always had a soft spot for men in uniform.

Emmett

And I've always had a hard spot.

Emmett

Can you believe I've never been to a football game?

Ted

Easily.

Ted

That's impossible, he's straight!

Emmett

Tell my ass that.

Emmett

So what brings you to Queersville?

Drew

My game's been shit.

Emmett

Talk to your coach.

Drew

I can't sleep.

Emmett

Take a Xanax.

Drew

I'm drinking too much.

Emmett

Buy more beer nuts.

Drew

I miss you.

Drew

I thought you love when I fuck you.

Emmett

I do love when you fuck me. This isn't the Atkins Diet. Man can't live on meat alone. At least this man can't.