Justin quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Justin

Did I tell you my dad wants to send me to military school? I said, "Fuck no."

Brian

I think your dad might be right. A Little military school or something might do you good.

Emmett

I always wanted to go to military school. Those sleek uniforms, so well cut.

Ted

Taking orders, getting punished when you're naughty. [Bends over and all slaps Emmett's butt.]

Emmett

Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.

And don't forget showering with all those cadets.

Emmett

Oh...

Craig

That's it, Justin. That's it. You come home with me right now or you never come home again.

Justin

Never again. Did you hear me? I said, never again! Go, get the fuck out of here! Go! I'm never coming home again!

Justin

I'm turning 18 soon. That means I can vote, get married, and join the army.

Emmett

Hopefully not in the same day.

Brian

You're not crying, are you?

Justin

I'm not some little faggot.

Brian

No, you're not. You're pretty brave actually.

Brian

This is not the White House! George Washington never slept here!

Justin

He's the only one who hasn't.

Justin

My parents don't want me. You don't want me. My life's a fucking mess, Brian.

Brian

Yeah, well, whose isn't?

Ted

Well, Brian. You really know how to throw a birthday bash.

Emmett

Too bad all good things must come to an end.

Melanie

Well well well... is anyone surprised? The way he treats people. Am I right? Is there anyone here tonight that hasn't been fucked by Brian Kinney, one way or another?

Vic

Well, what do you know, now Michael has been too.

Debbie

So you finally gave him what he wanted. Good for you.

Lindsay

How could you do that to him, Brian? Your best friend in the whole world.

Justin

No. You're gonna need someone to help you clean up this mess.

Brian

Hey, How's it going?

Justin

What? You actually wanna know?

Brian

Well, I asked, didn't I?

Justin

Everything's fine.

Brian

Good. What are you doing tonight?

Justin

Huh?!

Brian

[laughs] Are... These... Particularly... Hard... Questions? Do you wanna come over after work?

Justin

Really? Sure.

Brian

His life was just going to hang there, like some shirt in the closet you never wear.

Justin

So you pushed him away.

Brian

It was the only course of action.

Justin

Yeah, but now he hates you.

Brian

That's okay. As long as Mikey's happy.

Justin

God, you must really love him.

Justin

He's majorly hung.

Brian

And for once he's not talking about my cock.

Vic

And so are we. Straight to Hell. According to them.

Justin

Doesn't he know that every reputable psychological study done within the past 25 years emphatically states that a person's sexual orientation is determined by the age of six, sometimes before birth, and it's completely unalterable?

Debbie

You tell 'em, Sunshine! A leopard can't change its stripes... and neither can a queer!

Michael

His 12-year-old juggling jazz-playing webmaster, what if he hates me?

Justin

Who?

Michael

David's son.

Brian

Fuck him, he's just a kid.

Michael

He's not just a kid! He's David's son! And you know what that means.

Michael

Well, why don't you get your fairy tale back to work. Isn't there a toilet you need to spit shine?

Brian

Don't be so pathetic, Mikey. He's not gonna hate you.

Michael

What makes you so sure?

Brian

I'm crazy about you.

Justin

You do! You give a shit! You so care about me! You love me so much!

Brian

Get out!

Brian

Once this straight football jock picked me up and dunked my head in the toilet.

Justin

What did you do?

Brian

I followed him to his locker. It was open, his hand was up, like this. He was laughing so I slammed the door so hard it broke three of his fingers. And that was the end of the season for him.

Justin

What are you doing here?

Chris Hobbs

Checking out the freaks... like you.

Justin

Down here you're the freak.

Chris

Out of the way, faggot!

Justin

Hey! Hey! You guys see him! We go to school together and his name is Chris Hobbs! He just called me a faggot! See, Chris doesn't like faggots.

Chris

Shut up, Taylor.

Justin

Or maybe he likes them more than he thinks.

Chris

I said shut up!

Justin

He let me jerk him off! The faggot gave Chris Hobbs a hand job! He loved it!

Chris

You are fucked! [Chris runs off with his friends]

Emmett

You go, baby.

Brian

Congratulations. You just made yourself a real enemy.