Michael quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Brian

Are you listening?

Michael

[In tears] I'm listening.

Brian

The night Justin was bashed, and I called you and you were about to get on a plane, and you came here and you sat with me for three days, waiting to see if he was gonna live or die; if it hadn't of been for you I never would have made it. It was because of you. You're strong enough for both of us. And you're gonna be strong for Ben.

Michael

[To Ted] How do get any work done with all these hot, horny guys around you?

Brian

Yeah, if it were me I would have a permanent boner.

Michael

Thought you already did.

Justin

Brian already is perfect.

Michael

Glad you think so.

Michael

Don't you guys tell each other where you're going or what you're doing?... I'm just asking!

Brian

It's not a psych ward! You don't have to sign out, call in and report our whereabouts, we've even stopped wearing those homing devices.

Michael

What if... there was someone else? Someone that he was seeing that you didn't know about?

Brian

What if there was?

Michael

You'd be okay with that too?

Brian

He doesn't owe me anything.

Michael

What about the truth?

Michael

Ma, would you stop overfeeding him?

Debbie

He's one of the family now!

Ben

Yeah, I'm one of the family now!

Michael

My sincere condolences.

Michael

[after Ben says that he's not going to Tibet] But you said it's what you need.

Ben

I've already got what I need... and I don't need to go to Tibet to find it. [They kiss]

Michael

You got what you wanted.

Justin

So did you! From the first night that we met and he took me home and fucked me, you have wanted me gone. Well, Mikey, you finally got your wish. There's nothing standing in your way anymore. He's all yours.

Michael

[tastes Debbie's sauce] Ugh! There's no meat in this!

Debbie

The girls wanted vegetarian.

Michael

Lesbian lasagna.

Debbie

For Christ sake Michael, it's not like you have to eat pussy.

Michael

Mother!

Brian

I leave you two alone for five minutes!

Michael

Christ, Brian! How'd you get in here?

Brian

My widdle key.

Michael

Ben's just moving in.

Brian

Suffering Sappho. You too.

Michael

You must really love him.

Brian

I told him from day one I don't believe in love, I believe in-

Michael

-fucking, yeah I know.

Michael

I don't know how you do it. Working all day, fucking all night.

Brian

Well, they say in the vast infinite of space, the faster you move, the slower you age. I have to believe the same holds true for Pittsburgh.

Michael

Where are you?

Brian

Where you never grow old. Where everything is beautiful!

Michael

That's a sizeable chunk of change for Boyfriend Replacement Therapy.

Brian

I don't have a boyfriend. I've never had a boyfriend.