Brian quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Michael

So what is this, adopt-a-trick? First he's a one-night-stand, now he's moved in.

Brian

It's only temporary.

Michael

Until he grows up?

Brian

He eats with straight people?

Ted

Ice. You never know where their hands have been.

You know you and me, we're a lot alike.

Brian

We are?

We weren't meant to settle down.

Brian

This is not the White House! George Washington never slept here!

Justin

He's the only one who hasn't.

Daphne

Please, I'm never getting married. I mean, why be tied down?

Brian

I love this girl.

Ted

It just so happens a person can have an active sex life at any age.

Brian

That means there's still hope for you!

Emmett

I can change a tire.

Brian

You cannot change a tire.

Emmett

I know you all just think of me as this Nelly retail queen. But it just so happens that I make it my business to know anything that has to do with lug nuts.

Brian

I know I can be shit to you sometimes, I know that. But it's only because I know that you'll always love me no matter what.

Michael

I do.

Brian

I do, too. Always have, always will.

Justin

My parents don't want me. You don't want me. My life's a fucking mess, Brian.

Brian

Yeah, well, whose isn't?

Ted

I'm 33, what does that make me?

Brian

Did you guys hear something? A voice from the dead?

Debbie

I remember the first time I heard your name. Michael says 'there's this new boy in school, Brian Kinney.' For weeks that's all he could talk about. Brian Kinney this and Brian Kinney that. Next thing, you're cutting classes. And then I come home from work one day and I find the two of you 14 and drunk. It was then I knew that you were trouble. And you haven't disappointed me a day since then.

Brian

Well, at least you can't accuse me of being inconsistent.

Debbie

Consistent heartbreak.

Ted

Nice job on the gift. Couldn't have been more perfect.

Brian

Thanks.

Ted

Yeah... David's present didn't stand a chance. Then again, neither did he.

Brian

Fuck off.

Ted

Just can't help yourself, can you? You make have to make sure Michael regresses permenantly to the age of 12. He's 30, for Christ sake, Brian. Don't you think it's time you let him go?

Brian

Tell you what. I will if you will.

Brian

Tracy! I'm so happy that you could make it to Michael's surprise party. Let me introduce you to a few of our guests... David, this is Tracy, Tracy this is David.

David

Tracy, yeah we met.

Tracy

Right, you're Mike's chiropractor.

Brian

He's also his boyfriend. Excuse me, ex-boyfriend. First time they fucked, Michael came like, three times.

Brian

Mike, why don't you buy your friend Tracy a drink? Looks like she could use one... don't go yet Mikey, you haven't even had your cake!

Michael

Fuck off!

Brian

So, how was work?

Michael

Fat Marley had this really incredibly hickey and there was a sale on protein powder so every queen in the city was there. Except for you, of course.

Ted

Boring. Work was boring. How 'bout you?

Michael

Don't tell me, you took a client to a really fancy restaurant for lunch and there was this really hot waiter and he signaled for you to meet him in the linen closet and he gave you this amazing blowjob and then you went back to the table and the client never knew?

Brian

How'd you guess?

Ted

I asked you about work.

Brian

Uh, I took a client to lunch and the waiter blew me in the linen closet.

Ted

Really?

Michael

Liar! You're such a liar!

Brian

Hey, How's it going?

Justin

What? You actually wanna know?

Brian

Well, I asked, didn't I?

Justin

Everything's fine.

Brian

Good. What are you doing tonight?

Justin

Huh?!

Brian

[laughs] Are... These... Particularly... Hard... Questions? Do you wanna come over after work?

Justin

Really? Sure.