Brian quotes from Queer as Folk (US)

Brian

You were fucking amazing.

Ted

Yeah, I was pretty good, wasn't I?

Brian

The way you were going at it... there was no stopping you.

Emmett

Careful Brian, you're dripping. I don't want any stains on the sofa.

Brian

Oh! Not yet anyway.

Michael

I told Ben a lie. A big fat lie.

Brian

Okay... who'd you fuck?

Michael

No one.

Brian

Oh. Then make it quick.

Michael

I finished his book three days ago... but I told him I'm still reading it.

Brian

That's it? That's the big fat... no. A big fat lie is I won't cum in your mouth.

Emmett

Just don't cum on the sofa!

Brian

You're not running around the streets with a concealed weapon!

Justin

I told you-

Brian

-it's necessary, so that you and Cody can be the gay avengers?! Heroes of the resistance? Martyrs to the cause?

Justin

We're trying to stop violence before it happens!

Brian

By starting it?

Brian

Gonna lie there sharpening your claws and feeling sorry for yourself or you gonna get your ass out of bed?

Melanie

Jesus, Brian, you could at least knock.

Brian

If I would have knocked you'd have told me to fuck off.

Melanie

Fuck off.

Brian

Too late! Now then. Show me on the doll where the bad man touched you.

Brian

Say somebody bashes you, nearly kills you. Does that give you the right to go out and do the same?

Ben

Of course not.

Brian

Why?

Michael

'Cause two wrongs don't make a right.

Ben

Besides, there are laws.

Brian

But what if the law failed to protect you? What if the law doesn't give a shit? Then what?

Michael

Then I guess you'd have to take the law into your own hands.

Ben

No no no... violence is never a moral option.

Brian

But doing nothing... letting someone bash your brains in, it is?... Thus, the conscience does make cowards of us all.

Brian

Are these rates firm?

As my abs... I bought one of those machines.

Brian

You know the problem with our extra-circular one fuck only policy?

Justin

Is it that after a while you start asking yourself... am I doing this because I want to do it or because I need to do it? And if I need to do it, is it to prove to myself I'm still young and attractive? Or 'cause I think I'm unworthy of being loved?

Brian

Or maybe it's because I've had every unshockable guy in this city.

Justin

A man that got away, huh?

Brian

And I was halfway up his ass.

Justin

He must have heard that nasty rumor... you know, the one about you having crabs.

Brian

[scoffs] I wonder how that happened.

Brian

Vic was on his death bed four years ago. All this was gravy. We knew that.

Debbie

What did you say?

Brian

Going this way... could have been a lot worse. If you ask me he was fucking lucky.

Debbie

[slaps Brian] Nobody fucking asked you. And who the fuck are you to decide how long he should have lived?

Brian

The truth hurts.

Debbie

Get this shithead out of my house.

Justin

I can't believe you're thinking about sex at a time like this.

Brian

At a time like this it's exactly when you should be thinking about it.

Brian

In bed.

Justin

Hmm?

Brian

You're supposed to add "in bed" to the end of every fortune.

Justin

I was thinking... on the floor.

Lindsay

Gus has been saying Dada all day.

Brian

So he's developed a sudden interest in German Surrealism.

Lindsay

Isn't he a little young for James Dean?

Brian

Well, you don't want him to watch Teletubbies, do you? It might make him gay.

Michael

They [Hunter and Ben] could die just like him and I'd be the one left to pack up their stuff and turn out the lights.

Brian

Just because they're positive doesn't mean they're gonna be the first to go. Hell, it could be you. You could step out in the street, get hit by a Mercedes compressor. So much classier than a bus. Go down to the post office to buy a stamp, get blown away by a disgruntled postal worker. In case you haven't noticed these days, they're all disgruntled.

Michael

I just get scared of the thought of being alone.

Brian

That's how we all came in. That's how we're all going out.