Cooper Freedman quotes from Private Practice

Cooper

(to Addison) Do you think there's something wrong with having sex with a woman who wants you to call her... mama?

Cooper

Violet! Step away from the pee-pee!

Cooper

[to Charlotte] I have a mom who feels like she lost one son to autism and maybe losing another one to the measles and she's got another one sitting out here, exposed, and maybe I'm just not persuasive enough. But he's vulnerable. She's not going to let me do anything about it. So I'm really sorry if I piled on some paperwork for you, but I don't need crap from you, right now.

Cooper

I haven't shaved and my shirt's a little wrinkled, but beneath the depressed hobo look, I am fine.

Violet

Look, I know she has the largest chunk in this practice, but we agreed to equal votes. We are supposed to vote! Sam, you ought to do something!

Sam

What, me?

Violet

This divorce is killing us! You need to go apologize.

Pete

Just say you were wrong for walking out, so we can go back to being a happy family.

Violet

Yeah!

Sam

I never... I didn't... I am not apologizing to her. She's the one.... Naomi hires Addison and then moves her in right next door to me. I saw her naked this morning.

Cooper

You saw her naked?

Pete

Did she look good naked?

Focus!

Cooper

We're a team.

Violet

We're partners, Naomi.

Sam

You can't just bring somebody in.

Pete

Without asking us.

Violet

Yeah.

Sam

We're a democracy. We vote.

Pete

We vote.

Violet

We vote or it doesn't happen.

Naomi

You're right. We should've voted. I was wrong.

Violet

Good. Okay, let's vote.

Addison

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a minute. Uh, I have been working here less than 24 hours, and in that time I discovered that I not welcome here, I learned I am a one-man gynie show, and I performed crazy McGyver surgery, and...Sam saw my booty. So...this has not been a great day for me. This day kind of sucked. But you know what I had one patient...one patient the entire day...and I loved it. So you want me gone? Too bad. I'm in. I'm putting my foot down. My foot's down. It's down. I'm not going anywhere. So...yeah. I thought I...I thought I had a big finish but...I don't. So...I'm done. No, no. I do have a big finish. If I hadn't been here today, if you'd had someone else, that girl would've died delivering her baby. I saved her life. I saved your asses. I'm a world-class neonatal surgeon. And I'm here to stay. Welcome to the new Oceanside Wellness.(Addison leaves)

Naomi

That's why I didn't tell you she was coming.

Cooper

[looks up from taking off his trousers] Oh, you're... wow, you're naked.

Violet

Yeah, it makes the sex easier.

Cooper

It's just, ah, I've never seen you naked. In the office, you always have your clothes on.

Violet

Well, yeah, I try to be a professional.

Violet

[indicating to his underwear] Rip off the bandaid, Coop. I did.

Cooper

[after a long pause] Yeah... can't.

Violet

Y... you have to... you've already seen me naked.

Cooper

I know, and you're... beautiful. I'm sorry, I... thought I could but... [starts putting his clothes back on]

Violet

You can't reject me, you have low standards... you have no standards!

Cooper

It's different, Violet.

Violet

No, it's not different! I... I am offering you uncomplicated, unemotional sex.

Cooper

No! I... You're... you're not some random girl from the Internet, with you it doesn't mean nothing... it never will...

Sam

They're behind closed doors.

Cooper

Who?

Sam

The women... If they're gonna talk about us, we should talk about them.

Cooper

Yeah, let's talk, let's talk smack.

Cooper

Who kicked your dog?

Pete

I think I'm helping some other guy win over Addison.

Cooper

Good job.

Pete

It'd be weird to punch him out now, right?

Cooper

Yeah, a little bit.

Cooper

Regular normal people are driven to murder every day. Right, love, love will do it every time. Twisted, sick, messed-up love.

Sam

Cooper, Charlotte King is still alive, right?

Charlotte

Now, all we have to do is wait.

Cooper

Come on. Little Walter? [pretends to be holding a baby]

Charlotte

Are you trying to be funny?

Cooper

No, that was my grandfather. He was a piano tuner. Maybe he'll play an instrument, maybe the trumpet.

Charlotte

Please. It'll be a girl. Marjorie.

Cooper

Your grandmother?

Charlotte

My horse. Last animal I ever had. I was 15. She broke her ankle and had to shoot her.

Violet

I slept with Pete! [she pauses] There, I told you.

Cooper

You know, I expected better from you.

Violet

I'm sorry. It just happened-

Cooper

You know what? If that's how you want to play it, fine.

Violet

What are you talking about?

Cooper

When you're ready to be mature and tell me who you really slept with I'll be around for you, Violet.

Violet

I'm not lying to you. I really slept with Pete.

Cooper

Okay. [steps out the door]

Violet

Where are you going?

Cooper

I don't want to be late for my date with Angelina Jolie.

Cooper

Are you still having sex with the same guy? The same guy, huh? Finally going to 'fess up and tell me who?

Violet

I told you whom it was, and you didn't believe me.

Cooper

Who it was. And you told me Pete, which is an obfuscation, lying really.

Violet

It's Pete, Cooper. I'm having sex with Pete. You need me to prove it to you?

Violet

I thought I was okay with it. But I'm not sure if I am okay with it. I'm sleeping with two men. Do I get a lecture now?

Cooper

Yes. Yes, you do. This is good. This is progress.

Charlotte

Well, let's see. Duke and Landry are down on bourbon, Momma's taken to her room with the vapors and neither one of them wants any part of making a decision about Big Daddy.

Cooper

The vapors? You have a medical degree from John Hopkins. You've diagnosed your mother with the vapors?