Addison Montgomery quotes from Private Practice

Addison

I don't even know if he's normal. One minute he's hot, the next minute he's arctic; I don't need that kind of damage, no matter how fancy his lips are; here he comes.

Addison

Cooper, the Internet dater, is in a healthy relationship and my too-good-to-be-true boyfriend thinks I'm a psychotic bunny boiler.

Addison

I can't have kids, did you know that? I've got like one egg left or something horrible like that, and I'm okay with it, I am, I made my peace. I... wasn't one of those crazy women who cried, you know, every time she saw a baby, I just shut it down. But then, uh, Pete and I happened, and... that meant Lucas too. And it was so scary for me to allow myself to... enjoy him, to love him. But when I did, it was like... it was like I was broken and Lucas fixed me, and now I can't imagine my life without him, I can't, I just... So, you coming back, and I'm thrilled that you're back, genuinely, because I like you, Violet. And what happened to you was so... But for it means, I'm saying it's hard for me to.

Why is there a letter of resignation on my desk?

Addison

I told you. I got a job offer.

I don't want to hear this again. Working at a private medical co-op, moving to L.A.? This is not my Addison. My Addison is a world-class neonatal surgeon.

Violet

You'll have Dell.

Naomi

He's studying to be a midwife.

Addison

The cute boy who answers the phone?

Addison

I want to hear you say it out loud.

Pete

You didn't move down here because I kissed you.

Addison

[walks away] Thank you.

Pete

You so moved down here because I kissed you.

Addison

(to herself) I heard that!

Cooper

We're a team.

Violet

We're partners, Naomi.

Sam

You can't just bring somebody in.

Pete

Without asking us.

Violet

Yeah.

Sam

We're a democracy. We vote.

Pete

We vote.

Violet

We vote or it doesn't happen.

Naomi

You're right. We should've voted. I was wrong.

Violet

Good. Okay, let's vote.

Addison

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a minute. Uh, I have been working here less than 24 hours, and in that time I discovered that I not welcome here, I learned I am a one-man gynie show, and I performed crazy McGyver surgery, and...Sam saw my booty. So...this has not been a great day for me. This day kind of sucked. But you know what I had one patient...one patient the entire day...and I loved it. So you want me gone? Too bad. I'm in. I'm putting my foot down. My foot's down. It's down. I'm not going anywhere. So...yeah. I thought I...I thought I had a big finish but...I don't. So...I'm done. No, no. I do have a big finish. If I hadn't been here today, if you'd had someone else, that girl would've died delivering her baby. I saved her life. I saved your asses. I'm a world-class neonatal surgeon. And I'm here to stay. Welcome to the new Oceanside Wellness.(Addison leaves)

Naomi

That's why I didn't tell you she was coming.

Pete

God. I am a wreck. Long day.

Addison

I just sent a man to jail for trying to get rid of his own kid, but... your day sounds really hard.

Pete

I didn't know.

Addison

Oh, no. Of course not. You spent the entire day dealing with the perils of aromatherapy and uh... your stripper.

Pete

I know you don't believe me, but I like my women real. Real skin, real breasts, real lines around their eyes that mean that they've really lived and had pain. You show me that woman, and I'm interested... and not in a slippery way. [gets up to leave, but stops] And, Addison... I think it's great that you try to take care of Naomi, but who takes care of you?

Addison

You know this is a very serious issue. This is a woman who has needs, who has wants, who needs and wants magic in her life. This is not a dirty little joke that you can make your dirty little jokes about, dirty man.

Pete

You don't know me at all. You think you do, but you don't, so don't call me names.

Addison

[soaking wet] It rains in Seattle which is where I left my umbrella! It does not rain in Los Angeles!

Dell

It rains in LA, it's raining right now.

Addison

Really? Right now!

Addison

Why has nobody, including you, responded to my invitation tonight? I invited everyone from work to my home over a week ago, a week...

Sam

Addison, I live three feet away from your new home, If you have a party, I'm going to be there even if I don't want to be.

Addison

What a delightful acceptance.

Dell

Did I mention I'm a total whiz at the female anatomy? I-I-I'm acing my midwifery classes. I got it all up here.

Addison

Yeah, yeah, keep it up there.

Dell

[shouting in a room filled with patients] Vulva! Labium majus!

Sam

If that's flirting, you need new skills.

Violet

William Jefferson Clinton.

Addison

Huh?

Violet

It's 2010. Bill and Hillary have grown apart. It's nothing he did, just... it happens. We inexplicably run into each other at the Lincoln Memorial and it's very late night...

Addison

[groaning] Oh my god.

Violet

He recognizes something in me, something that makes him feel... whole. So we talk about the Camp David Summit, some chat about how we can't possibly, the Secret Service. Next thing you know I have a presidential library in Little Rock and there's a legendary picture of me and Bill laughing and sharing sections of The Times while our child plays under the dinner table, and... orgasm.

Naomi

You're really over Allen, aren't you?

Violet

Oh, I got Bill now. Bill's all I need.

Pete

She snores...

Naomi

God, asleep, she looks almost harmless.

Addison

Hm, like a sleeping tiger.

Pete

Shh. Don't wake the tiger.

Addison

And you are a thinker. So, what do you think? About me and Pete. Come on, Nay, you're my friend.

Naomi

Okay. Fine. You said you want change, and you pick Pete. What, a cute doctor boy with nice eyes. That's not change, that's your MO. You're just... you're rushing into something new.

Addison

I'm not. I'm... making a decision to take a chance on something that feels right.

Naomi

Because you're afraid to be alone.

Addison

So what if I am?! Surprise, Naomi, I'm susceptible to the human condition. Look through our other men, I mean there are men in uniform I cannot be alone with right now. I did not pick Pete because I'm desperate and lonely. Pete is my choice