So, you didn't think your black belt in judo was worth mentioning?
Well, I thought people would be more interested in the train-spotting angle.
Press Gang · Season 1
So, you didn't think your black belt in judo was worth mentioning?
Well, I thought people would be more interested in the train-spotting angle.
So, who hates me enough to want me battered senseless by Malcolm the shaving gorilla?
Shall I get the list?
Colin, what does a rabbit mean to you?
A four-pack of lucky feet.
I don't deal in animals unless they're freeze-dried in cellophane.
Lynda [feeding her goldfish]: Come on, eat your food, Sullivan. You won't grow up to be a shark if you don't eat your food.
[Chrissie wants to know what's going on at the Junior Gazette]
Well, Spike and Lynda are pretending they're not going out with each other, and we're pretending we don't know.
I haven't had so much fun since she sprained her arm in Primary Five.
Explain something to me, Kenny. You two are supposed to be the best of friends. How come you enjoyed her spraining her arm?
We are the best of friends. She was trying to push me out of a window at the time."
She didn't push you out of the window, did she?
No. I jumped.
I know how you feel...
In love? With Attila the Skirt?
You got it!
Tell me one thing, Spike. Does she kiss with her teeth?
That's a painful subject.
One thing I've always wondered about you, Graham. When you wake up in the morning, how do you tell?
Hi, Spike! How's the latest brunette?
Sam, she's not just my latest brunette.
I didn't mean your latest brunette, Spike - I meant hers. So, how are you, Spike?
No, I mean straight! Really! Look, I know how I sound. I open my mouth, and it's a hustle! I can't help that. But this is not for me. Just this once I'm not pulling something.
Colin thinks there might be a radioactive lizard in the filing cabinet.
Again?
Can I talk to you seriously for a moment?
I very much doubt it.
Colin, I want the books. And I don't want to hear how they've been eaten by your cat, or how they were stolen by a roving band of deranged accountants, or how the recent stock market collapse in New Guinea has rendered the figures meaningless in a very real sense. I want the books now!
I'm no use. You know what I am? I'm a pink rabbit at a funeral. I'm a radioactive lizard in a filing cabinet. I'm the guy who tried to market the inflatable telephone for the poolside executive. My own mother doesn't believe a word I say without three independent witnesses and a death threat.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Press Gang pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.