Colin quotes from Press Gang

Colin

Can you imagine it? For two hours the audience sat and watched a box with a spotlight on it. Not many came back after the interval. At the end there were just these four drama students who gave it a standing ovation and asked me to join their drama group. Kenny, have you any idea how humiliating it is to take your escape artist home in a box?

Colin

Suzy, I caught one of your matches the other day and I was impressed. Just a little word of advice though, show your legs more.

Colin

I don't deal in animals unless they're freeze-dried in cellophane.

Colin

No, I mean straight! Really! Look, I know how I sound. I open my mouth, and it's a hustle! I can't help that. But this is not for me. Just this once I'm not pulling something.

Colin

I'm no use. You know what I am? I'm a pink rabbit at a funeral. I'm a radioactive lizard in a filing cabinet. I'm the guy who tried to market the inflatable telephone for the poolside executive. My own mother doesn't believe a word I say without three independent witnesses and a death threat.

Colin

Let's do lunch!

Colin

And put in loads of adjectives. I love those.

Colin

I'm not really following all this, am I?

Colin

Do you have to keep pointing at me gun-wise? It's just that I've got a naturally high fear level. Probably if you were just a bit cross with me, that would do it.

Colin

Those guys out there haven't quite made up their minds about you. I mean, maybe you're just one of these wacky kids who likes to tease his friends with a loaded firearm. We all know one.

Colin

Can I just say, on behalf on everyone, I'm glad you didn't kill Kenny. That would have been one serious bummer. I'm sorry if I'm sounding emotional.

Colin

This Bobby Campbell fella sounds like a right sleazy, money-grabbing low-life. Just my type of guy.

Colin

Look, someone's going to do a biggy on this story. At least if it's us, it will be done with tact, taste and discretion. With free Spike and Lynda dolls!

Colin

One minute, it’s all nice and normal and then suddenly everything’s dead! It’s like that school zoo trip all over again…

Colin

Do you want to buy a sucker gun?

Spike

What are those for, shooting your customers?