Spike quotes from Press Gang

Spike

If this was the olden days, if this was like thousands and thousands of years ago... I'd kill a dragon for you.

Spike

You're very pretty when you're angry. Of course, I've never seen you any other way. Maybe you're angry when you're pretty.

Spike

I was cracking those jokes at myself. You just stood in front of me.

Spike

Colin, Lynda's here tonight. It's very important for her to make a good impression, and it's not going to look too good if her financial advisor is here dressed as an Arabian knight trying to sell oil fields under the high school!

Spike

Lynda, going out together usually involves - and this may surprise you - going out together. Like dates and stuff. Like maybe even seeing one another occasionally. I know, it was in Biology.

Spike

[on Lynda] She has a temper as short as her skirt.

Spike

I hear the singing's great. I hear the song's great. All you need is a little personality. Kenny, I'm here to teach you personality.

Spike

Okay? He’s going to be better than okay. He’s going to be like me, only with niceness, and in tune.

Spike

What do you know? Twelve o'clock and we've had a gun siege already.

Spike

Lynda! I don't know what this means, but Colin says "don't throw the ashtray".

Spike

Why has it taken me this long to realise you are just as big a monster as you seem to be?

Lynda

How could anyone be madly in love with you?

Spike

I don't know. But then again, I'm the only person in this conversation who isn't.

Lynda

No, I am.

Lynda

I'm telling you, Kenny, Spike has absolutely no effect on me whatsoever.

Spike

Hey Lynda, is it okay if I borrow your pencil?

Lynda

Will you stop making stupid suggestive remarks!

Colin

Do you want to buy a sucker gun?

Spike

What are those for, shooting your customers?

Spike

I remember when Lynda used to need two for a conversation.

Sam

I don't.