Frazz quotes from Press Gang

Sex and violence. I love children's television.

I don't like socialising with fictional characters.

Colin

So, who hates me enough to want me battered senseless by Malcolm the shaving gorilla?

Shall I get the list?

In love? With Attila the Skirt?

Spike

You got it!

Tell me one thing, Spike. Does she kiss with her teeth?

Spike

That's a painful subject.

Spike

Know what that woman's done to me?

Dated you, dumped you, broken your heart, driven you back to America, and given you a serious hang-up about all other women because you know you're basically still crazy about her and always will be.

Spike

Lucky guess.

Did I miss anything?

Spike

She stole my damn passport.

Tell me something, Lynda. Given that we were already twenty-one goals behind, given that we were two players down because you personally sent them off for being consistently late on deadlines. Given those things, don't you think it was an unusual tactic to suddenly score against your own side and concuss your team captain?

Lynda

Well, it had the benefit of surprise.

If you explain just one thing. Why do you insist on constantly scoring against us? I mean, five times in one match!

Lynda

It was personal. Spike and I are fighting and you had him in goal.

Colin, can I make one general point about the game of football?

Colin

Hey, coach, shoot! I do still regard myself as a beginner.

No matter how badly your team are doing, you are not - under any circumstances - allowed to change sides!