Do you want to buy a sucker gun?
What are those for, shooting your customers?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I remember when Lynda used to need two for a conversation.
I don't.
The thing about Lynda is, Sam, she's not half as hard as wants you to think.
Kelly/Dublin Girl [on the phone to Kenny]: Are you a nice guy?
Me, nice? You’re talking to world champion nice here. I’m so nice I get socks for Christmas – and I like it. I’m so sweet and lovable cuddly toys sneer at me.
KKelly
Then I guess you’ll never get dumped.
Of course - your dear old aunt in Sherrington. What is it this time? Ill? Dead? Tell me, how do you justify being off work at her funeral on no less than eight separate occasions?
She is my aunt!
Kenny - this woman has died a total of eight times!
How do you think I feel?
That's not what lasting relationships are based on. I should know - I've had hundreds of them.
I've just met the most wonderful guy in the world, and my life is over!
I'm a great kisser, Lynda. Seventeen years, and never dribbled.
I expect you practice a lot on your own.
Absolutely. I have this pair of rubber lips.
I can see that.
Is that a joke about my height?
I wouldn't stoop so low.
Actually, I'm six foot three. I've just been standing in a hole since I was seven.
Yes, I've often thought of you that way.
You're very pretty when you're angry. Of course, I've never seen you any other way. Maybe you're angry when you're pretty.
I was cracking those jokes at myself. You just stood in front of me.
Can we for once just be two normal people?
I can be two normal people if you can.
So just don't get up to any crazy stuff.
When have I ever done that?
The school dance.
Apart from that.
The sixth year social.
And the sixth year social.
The fifth year social, the fourth year social...
Apart from those...
Sarah's birthday party, Julie's birthday party, Kevin's birthday party... The school sports day, the staff/pupil social...
I don't remember the staff/pupil social.
That's part of the problem.
Spike [to Lynda]: For the record, you're the last person in the world I would ever let down. I thought you'd have worked that out by now.
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