Sarah quotes from Press Gang

Sarah

I've just met the most wonderful guy in the world, and my life is over!

Kenny

Oh, exaggerating am I? Okay. Ten years ago, school sports day.

Lynda

Oh here we go.

Kenny

Lynda Day is six years old.

Lynda

I can't believe you're bringing this up again.

Kenny

Do you know what she does?

Lynda

Apart from winning every event.

Kenny

Except one.

Lynda

That was badly adjudicated. It was a travesty of justice.

Kenny

Lynda, it was the egg and spoon race.

Lynda

Yeah and I was a clear two inches ahead of Suzy Bennett. Travis was blind.

Kenny

Travis was our teacher and he was blind. With tears of agony about two seconds later.

Lynda

Oh, I can't believe you're still bringing this up.

Kenny

And there he was with Lynda hanging from his leg by his teeth.

Lynda

This is pathetic, isn't it?

Kenny

It's true. You went straight up to him and sank your teeth into his leg.

Sarah

Kenny! [waiting for him to notice the phone is ringing; the call he's been anxiously waiting for]

Lynda

You're exaggerating again.

Kenny

He was all over the playing fields trying to shake you off.

Lynda

Oh, rubbish.

Kenny

I saw him in the street the other day. He still walks with a limp.

Sarah

Can you explain to me how I have just argued myself into doing exactly what you wanted me to do in the first place? You are a devious, unfeeling, calculating, manipulative bitch.

Lynda

Well you were asking what made me a better choice for editor.

Sarah

Do you really think it's reasonable to keep punishing people for not being Kenny?

Lynda

Well, they're not, are they?

Sarah

We’re going to need to find someone who can stand sitting here, which isn’t an easy trick.

Lynda

Have we tried everyone?

Sarah

Everyone who was willing.

Lynda

That didn’t seem to take long.