[Police lights go on while they are speeding in a sportscar] Shit! Pull over! Steve, pull over now! I'm gonna lose my apprenticeship!
They'll definitely kick the shit out of us for having a better motor than them!
I shouldn't have let you talk me into this!
PPolice officer
[Walking to vehicle] Won the pools, have we, lads?
PPolice officer
Step out of the vehicle, sir.
All right. [Accelerates away]
You're a fucking lunatic!
Do you want to keep your apprenticeship or not? Right, round this corner, we're gonna jump out, throw on the old cloak of invisibility, and scarper!
You and your bloody cloak of invisibility! It doesn't work, does it?
Oh, it's only cos they can see you, you pillock! [They climb up wall and look down from above at officers investigating idling vehicle] Don't forget, rehearsals tomorrow.
...
WallyYou mean... we can rehearse here as long as we want?
WSWally's father
Yep! We're rewiring the entire building. It'll take years.
Wally
Thanks, Dad!
WSWally's father
Just make sure I get a ride in your Rolls when you're famous. [Walks away]
Wally
Cheers!
All right, good news! I've come up with a new name.
What's wrong with the old name?
Yeah, I like "The Strand".
Nah, it's boring. Like Glen's hair.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you "The Swankers".
"The Swankers"? Sounds like "Wankers".
Wally
Why do you get to choose the name?
Wally
You can barely sing.
I can sing better than you can play. I'm the best musician.
You're also a jumped-up little ponce who likes The Beatles and minor diminished 4ths. Oh, yeah. Plus, I nicked all the gear.
Phantom of the Odeon. And, uh... I've written an original.
Wally
You?
Oh, it's... It's not actually written down.
Oh! So, when you say you've "written" a song, you mean...
Look, Wally, do you remember that riff we was mucking around with the other day? It was like... we was mucking around with the other day? It was like... da-na-na-na-na-da-na-na-na-na...
Wally
Nah, sorry.
Jesus! They don't call you "Wally" for nothing, do they? Glen... Do you remember the chords?
Like this: Da-na-na-na-na... Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's right. Glen?
All right, play D. Yeah, Glen?
Yeah. That's it. Right, repeat it.
Give us some noise. [Plays a song] What happens next?
Uh, I don't know. I gotta come up with more lyrics.
It's a bloody good start.
Well, it's not quite The Beatles, but...
Right, one, two... with the music, Now we've got to think image.
Yeah, how about tight suits with white shirts and skinny ties?
Wally
What, like The Beatles?
No! No, like The Small Faces. We cover their songs.
Wally
Yeah, it's a good idea.
No, it ain't. It's no good copying other bands. We gotta be like us.
What, four broke, working class gits who can't play for shit?
Wally
The Fucked Four.
All them dinosaur bands with their "oh, look at me" 15-minute guitar solos, they don't mean nothing to us, cos we're just... we're pissed off, we're bored, we're trying to scrape together enough for another pint. We're invisible. No one gives a shit about us. You know? So, we don't give a shit about no one else. Maybe that should be our image. That! You know? Not giving a shit!
Wally
So, no suits?
She said we could borrow clothes for the band. I won't even have to nick 'em.
Yeah. Malcolm's gonna manage us.
Did he actually say that?
Well, no, but he wants me to... you know, inspire him.
Yeah, for his revolution.
Wally
So... So... he's not managing us.
Not yet, but he will. I'm gonna convince him.
Nice guitar. Where'd you steal it?
Malcolm gave it to me. It was Sylvain Sylvain's.
I'm gonna be our new guitarist.
FWFlashback Wally
You fucking prick!
FSFlashback Steve
Well, don't blame me, I don't make the rules.
You sacked Wally?! Seriously?! Malcolm has been promising for months to put me in a band. And I can sing and play, but, no, he gives you, a meathead, druggie, felon...
Feel free. Everyone's piling it on today.
...this incredible instrument and a place in a band that you are completely unqualified for, because... because, Jonesy, one thing that British and American music share is huge, steaming piles of sexism.
Sexism has nothing to do with it, Chrissie. I am well aware of your talent, but my vision for the Sex Pistols is one of dirt, danger and desire. A band of sexy, young assassins whose instruments could just as easily be pickaxes, or shovels, or machine-guns. You're far too... accomplished for them. However, I do want you to meet with a man by the name of Mick Jones.
Now, Mick Jones is a very interesting young guitarist who is looking for a collaborator.
Sorted. But with Wally gone we've got nowhere to rehearse.
...
Come with me to Denmark... Street. London's answer to Tin Pan Alley. It's the epicentre of the music scene.
AFArchival footage man
Our Tin Pan Alley was really encompassed by the length of a street, which is still there, of course, Denmark Street. Today it's a sad place because, uh... the action has gone from there pretty well, and it's not the same kind of business. In those days, there were characters, there was tremendous colour.
I've taken out a twelve-month lease. Places like this, they don't come cheap, you know. But I said, I told them, "I don't care how much it costs, because this... is the perfect hideout for my sexy, young assassins."
Thanks, Malcolm. It's brilliant.
John comes by on Friday for rehearsals. How are you and Excalibur getting along?
Great. Ready to do battle. Mm, good. Don't let me down.
Pistol · 61 quotes
